Monday, November 17, 2014

The Worst Thing that Could Ever Happen

You know those things that you see happen to other people where you're super sad for them but a part of you is secretly glad that it didn't happen to you?  You know how another part of you quietly acknowledges that at some point it's going to be you that has the bad thing happen?

Well, it finally came around to me.  The worst thing that could ever happen actually happened.

I completely shattered the screen of my brand new iPhone.

I know.  I shouldn't have just dropped a bomb on you like that.  I'll give you a moment to gather yourself together.  Take a moment.  Think happy thoughts.  Take a deep breath.  

Are you okay?  

So here's how it happened.  I was getting ready for my morning walk.  I was all decked out with my 2 jackets, my gloves and my hat.  I was ready to brave the early morning Utah cold and get in some good exercise.  I walked out the front door, pulled my phone out of my pocket to start Runkeeper, and suddenly the phone leaped from my fingers.  

It was sort of like in The Lord of the Rings when the ring betrays Isildur and jumps off of his finger.  (If you don't understand that reference, go sit in the corner and read one of the greatest works of literature ever written, and I'd like a 500 word essay about Isildur's Bane on my desk tomorrow morning.)

The phone fell from my fingers, fell beyond my feet on to the top stair, then for good measure it bounced once and hit the ground again.  You know how in movies when something like that happens the protagonist yells, "Noooooo!" in slow motion and everything slows down as you see it hit the ground?  Well, it totally didn't happen like that because in real life time doesn't slow down.  But I did say, "Oh no!".

It landed upside down so I couldn't see whether it was damaged.  I've dropped it many times before.  (That's how I roll.)  So I thought (hoped) it might have remained safe from destruction.  I picked it up and looked at it, and it looked like this.

My heart filled with sadness.  I thought of how sad I would be to have to look at those cracks for 2 years until I'm ready to upgrade to a new phone.  

I contacted the Apple Store.  It turns out that they have a magical alchemy that allows them to convert money into uncracked glass.  I made an appointment, gave them $109 (I know, it's expensive but it's better than the ten billion it would cost to buy a new phone) and let them perform their wizardry.

I was a happy boy.
I have to tell you, handing over my phone was a bit unnerving.  The Apple Store guy was verifying my contact information before I handed it over.  I wanted to explain to him that there will be no way to contact me.  I'm about to go dark for an hour while you fix this.  

It turned out I completely survived without my phone for a full hour.  

Pro tip:  Next time, I'll bring my Kindle.

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