Sunday, May 23, 2010

The World's Greatest Mystery

I'm trying to solve a mystery.  It's a classic whodunnit.  I'm going to need your minds, your eyes, your ears and your hearts.  This isn't a novel or a video game.  No, a real world crime has been committed, and I need you to help me find the culprit.

This mystery is a real head scratcher.  It leaves me muttering to myself, "WIT".  (That stands for What in Tarnation.  I see people using WTF, and I don't like what that stands for so I'm trying to implement WIT into the internet vernacular of the people.)

So here's the story.  As most of you know, in Orem City, we pay the city to give us the large black trash receptacles.  We fill those with our garbage and the city brings a big truck by to empty them once a week.  Well, we pay a few dollars extra each month to have a second one.  We don't use it all the time but it's nice to have in case we have extra boxes, leaves, grass clippings or other random waste.

The past two weeks our second trash receptacle has vanished for a day or two.  When it returns it is full of someone else's trash.  That's right, someone is actually walking up to the front of our house, stealing our trash can and filling it with their own trash.  Then they return it to the front of our house so that I can carry it to the curb on trash pickup day for them.

Do you understand why I am perplexed?  Do you understand why I say WIT?  Here's the really weird thing.  We like our neighbors, they are nice people.  They all seem fairly normal.  They don't seem like the type that would do abnormal things.  I am trying to imagine which neighbor does the following things:
A)Generates so much trash that it doesn't fit in their own trash can
B)Thinks it's okay to steal someone else's trash can
C)Thinks we won't notice when they return it full of their trash.

So therein lies the mystery.  This is where all of you come in.  If you happen to drive by my house and see someone stealing my trash can, let me know.  If you have wisdom as to who may be the culprit, I'd like to hear that too.  Or, if one of you is stealing my trash can:  Dude, just ask if you can borrow it.  I'll probably say yes.


  1. Maybe we just need to write a little note and put in on there. We should also put our address on there too.

  2. WIT is right, Jeff. That is like something that you would read in BYU's police beat. Random! Good luck solving the riddle.

  3. You could always go through the trash... that's what the detectives on TV always do. It makes it mighty convenient that your thief is just GIVING you the evidence...

    And WIT? I like it!

  4. alright. I admit it. It's me. I enjoy wheeling it down the block, around the corner and into our condo complex once a week. Also, I have missed having a trash right next to my house. If I steal yours then I can have the comforting presence of the trash can for those couple days a week. Is that so horrible?

  5. go through it for their ID!

  6. Oh my gosh. They're probably just using yours because they don't want to spend the extra few dollars a month for a second trash can! Ridiculous!

    ...I'm all for Robyn's idea though. Your wife knows how to handle it!

  7. that is weird....i think if you look through the trash (gross, i know) you'll find mail and such with their name on it....or you could set up a hidden camera sting operation which would be WAY more fun. if you do the sting operation you MUST use a video camera so you can post the footage of the capture for us all to see how it goes down.

  8. Okay, I'm glad I have all of you on my team. It actually didn't even occur to me that I could examine the trash to find evidence.

    So, since you guys all gave me wisdom (and since Robyn left me home alone so I had nothing better to do) I decided to go through the trash like a true sleuth. I pulled the can into the garage so no one would see my sleuthing and I opened up the trash bag that was on top.

    It took me about 30 seconds to find out which neighbor it was. I actually found a bank statement, so I know how much interest they made last month. I felt like I was doing something wrong even though I was just going through my own trash, so I promptly stopped.

    So, the mystery is solved. I know who it was and how much interest they made. Now the question is what do I do about it? For now, I think I'm just going to pretend I don't know. The situation is too awkward.

    What does everyone think?

  9. WIT!?!?!
    What a crazy situation! I was totally going to suggest going through the trash - but I see you did that. I was also going to suggest hiding in the trash can and jumping out when they come - but that could take a while. I say you bake some really awesome cookies and doorbell ditch them with a little note that says you know what they've been doing... and just see if they stop. :-)

  10. I'm glad that you discovered the identity. I guess that i'm off the hook now. I still have no idea what the proper protocol is on that sort of situation, wikihow is silent on the matter. Good luck with that.

  11. ah, now I get it...I definitely am a fan of WIT and the jumping out of the trash can idea. Just the thought of it makes me laugh a lot, so if you really did jump out at them it would be even better :)

  12. I say doorbell ditch with cookies and a bill for the use of your trash can. Then they know you know who it was and hopefully they'll stop and you don't actually have to confront them about it!

  13. Okay, so I have to say I thought about this a little more and I think you may have to talk to them because obviously they aren't very statement in the trash?.....they may think stealing their neighbor's trash can and filling it is completely kosher.
    They may need a great big serving of Dude That's Not Okay pie.
    Or you could just open up a can of Louisiana whoop A.......Alfalfa.

  14. don't put up with their trash!

  15. The case of the Trash Can Abductors has been solved. Way to go Sherlock! Now, how to confront the culprit? I am with you, wait and see if it continues then have a little chat over cookies or something.

  16. Have you ever heard the story of the oreos? There was a woman at the airport reading a book and eating oreos when the man next to her started to help himself to her oreos. She'd take one and then he'd take one. With each oreo she got madder and madder who was this guy and why did he keep helping himself to her oreos? They finally got to the last oreo and the man "graciously" let her have the last one. She was so angry. She got on the plane and went to get some thing out of her purse and she found her oreos in her bag. She had been doing what she was so upset at the man for. The reason I say this is it could be that maybe the person thinks the trash can is theirs? I could be wrong, but it made me think of the oreo story.

  17. Melissa, it's possible they think it's theirs. But then why do they return it to my front yard? They place it right where I normally keep it near the front of my garage. That is the true mystery.


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