Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Is that Elvish on Your Wedding Ring?

There's a question I've been getting a lot lately.  People see the ring on my finger, and they want to know if The One Ring is really my wedding ring.

It's black.  That's how you know it's not really Sauron's ring.
The question has come in a number of different ways.
"Is that your wedding ring?"
"Is that elvish on your ring?"
"Is that the ring of power?"

But my favorite came from my sister.  She just pointed at my finger and said, "That's not your wedding ring!"

She's right, it's not my wedding ring.  But I have stopped wearing my wedding ring.

Don't worry, I haven't left my wife for some floozy from Mordor.  I'm still very much in love with my wife.  You should also know that my wife gave me the Ring of Power, and there are zero Mordorian females in this story.

The story actually starts before our wedding.  I had never worn a ring before.  When we picked out my wedding ring I chose the size that seemed the most comfortable.  Unbeknownst to me, I selected one that was just a little large.  It was fine most of the time, but when the ring got cold, it would abandon me.  Like the time it lept off my finger and rode on the outside of the car for 50 miles.

Last year, when we were going to Hawaii, I was terrified of losing my ring in the ocean.  Robyn and I decided to buy some cheaper rings for our vacation.  I bought something that was smaller so that it could stay on even in the water, but it also wouldn't be the end of the world if it fell off.  Naturally, I wanted the ring of power, but Robyn went with the Lord of the Rings theme as well.
Robyn went with Galadriel's ring

Here is me drinking from a coconut with the ring of power on.
So now let's fast forward to the present.  I have lost just over 50 pounds.  My ring that used to be slightly large but only fell off when my hands were covered in snow became ginormous and wouldn't stay on under any circumstances.

I realized my ring was just not going to work on our recent vacation.  I was walking down the street in Seattle when it made a run for it.  I was literally chasing my ring down the street in downtown Seattle.

After that, I became terrified that it would disappear any moment.
My sister-in-law shot this pic of me defending my ring as we got on the cruise ship.

When we got on the cruise ship to Alaska, my ring went into the safe and stayed there for the whole trip.  When we got home I dug up the ring of power from the year before and it became permanently fixed on my finger.

I figure when I'm done losing weight I'll get my actual wedding ring resized, but until that time I am wearing a ring forged in the very heart of Mordor.

So, now you know.  Yes, I am wearing a ring of power.  Yes, it says in Sauron's tongue that it is designed to bring all other rings and in the bind them in darkness.

And yes, I am nerdy enough to wear a ring that nearly destroyed everything good in Middle Earth as a symbol of my love for my wife.


  1. That's awesome. And you're looking great! Good job!

  2. As a single woman - thank you for making sure you are wearing a ring. Even if your actual wedding ring no longer fits. You are avoiding all sorts of uncomfortable situations :)

    1. I'm not known for avoiding uncomfortable situations. Normally, I'm the one bringing the awkwardness, so it's good to know I was on the other side of the fence on this one.


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