Wednesday, June 20, 2012

The Time the Wind Blew my Wife's Clothes Off

The following story is true.  It is also quite humorous.  At the time, under no circumstances was I permitted to laugh.  But now that it's been a while and Robyn is not quite as embarrassed, she is now willing to admit that it was quite funny.

You see, we had driven to the Pali lookout here in Hawaii.  It is a cliff that overlooks the majority of the island of Oahu.  It is a beautiful view of the jungle, mountains and ocean.  We had been enjoying the view when I noticed a particularly strong gust of wind.

I asked Robyn to take a picture of me to show just how windy it was. Robyn obliged and took this picture.
There are some things you should know about the above picture.

First, I know it looks like I just wore really wrinkled clothes.  While I do do that on occasion, this time the wrinkles are due to some serious wind.

Second, this picture is not what the story is about.  The real story is what happened behind the camera.

You see, like a dutiful wife, Robyn took my picture.  While doing so, a gust of wind came along and caused quite a ruckus.  (I'm not entirely sure that ruckus is a word, but the editor didn't do the little red underline thing so I'm going with it.)

Before I explain the nature of the ruckus, I need to help you understand the clothing Robyn was wearing.  This is Robyn at Pearl Harbor, earlier that day.

There are a few things you should notice about this picture:
First, Robyn is very precious.  But that's normal.
Second, she is wearing a blue sleeveless dress with a white sweater over the top.
Third, the white sweater dips down quite low and is also somewhat see through, so she probably wouldn't want to wear the white sweater by itself.

Keep those important facts in mind as I tell you the story of what happened behind the camera when the first picture above was taken.

So, after she snapped the shot she started screaming.  (Not the blood curdling, "I'm being murdered" scream but the little yelp that indicates something quite surprising is occurring.)  Accompanied with the scream she started saying things about her dress.

I thought she was concerned that something like this would happen:

Well,  unfortunately that's not what happened.  But to help you understand what did happen, I've hired a world renowned artist.

First, the wind caught hold of her long dress and pulled it between her legs.
Note: This extremely accurate drawing is not of Medusa.  Her hair was really blowy.
It started flapping in the wind, and the more it flapped, the more downward pressure was being put on the dress.  Pretty soon, it went from being a dress to being a skirt.

Note:  This awesome drawing is not anatomically correct.

At this point I realized there may be a problem.  I corralled her over to a nearby wall, and I tried to form a human shield while she dressed herself once again.  I gave other people the "There's nothing to see here, move along" look.  It was very effective.

Once Robyn got her clothes back on, I figured it was time to admit that what happened was pretty funny.  It turns out that was too soon.  I had a cranky wife for a bit.

But when we got back to where we're staying that night, we discussed how our adventures for the day had been a real success.  I mean, we all remained fully clothed for almost the entire day.  If that's not success I don't know what is.


  1. Way to go Robyn! I'm surprised Jeff didn't join you, just because he could and have an excuse.

    1. I was tempted. But if my clothes weren't attached to me they would have blown away as well.

  2. I would love to see a picture of your "There's nothing to see here, move along" look. A world renowned artist's rendering would also be acceptable.

    1. Mike, apparently I can't post images in a comment. But here is a link to the requested picture. Enjoy!

      "There's nothing to see hear, move along" face

  3. ^^I'm glad she's laughing now!^^

  4. Okay, that was truly funny. If I were a "LOL"er, I might have added that to my comment.

    1. "LOL"ing is way over used. It's lost its meaning in our society. But I appreciate the sentiment. :)

  5. I'm glad Robyn got over the embarrassed part. Her face was pretty red as you were telling us. I was too busy fighting the wind myself to see what happened.

  6. Hahaha! That's kind of awesome.

  7. Would be funnier if the dress tore off and all she would have on is the sweater and heels��

  8. Come on! Everyone wanted to see that.


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