Saturday, August 27, 2011

What is a Weed?

I've discovered a great truth as a homeowner.  I've discovered the definition of a weed.  A weed is simply a plant that I don't want.  I totally get to be the arbiter.  The overwhelming power might be going to my head.  I just wanted to share with you a few of the important decisions  I made today.

This plant: Not a weed.  It has a cool bug on it.  Next week it might be a weed if there is no cool bug.
These annoying plants that aren't pretty and grow taller than me?  Clearly weeds.
This may look like a weed.  But it sits outside my kitchen window.  Birds land there and sing to me while I eat breakfast.  Verdict: not a weed
The cool looking spiny fruit is the saving grace here.  Living in a desert is awesome.  Verdict: not a weed
At first glance I would have said that this sprinkler head is not a weed.  However, it was surrounded by weeds and the weed eater must have felt differently than I did because this sprinkler was decapitated.

I suppose that's what you get when you hang out with weeds.  It's kind of like the time I was standing on the playground near some kids that were playing cops and robbers.  (Apparently that's an evil game.)  The mustache lady came and punished all of them, but since I was standing nearby, I was punished as well.  (The mustache lady was the cruel overlord of the playground during recess.  She really had a mustache.  I still have nightmares about her.)

Unlike me in the mustache lady incident, the decapitated sprinkler is now the coolest drinking fountain in the world.
Sure to become a crowd favorite.
The moral of the story is, don't hang out with weeds unless you want to be decapitated.  But, if you are a weed, hang out with a cool bug.  (I never claimed my stories would have good teaching moments.)


  1. I do love when your blog posts have such good morals. I'm glad that you are having fun weeding your yard...with your camera.

  2. You're right. As a homeowner, you get to choose the fate of any plant. We have weeds in our yard in the form of blackberry and rose bushes, which always seem to come back.

  3. If I stand too close to a weed will I get decapitated? Because I have hung around a lot of weeds in my life time and my head is still connected. It could be just a matter of time.

  4. I want to be friends with your non-weeds that the birds sit on!

  5. Laura, Those sound like excellent weeds. We have some roses in our yard that I'm still debating their fate.

    Mom, best not to press your luck.

    Kayli, Come on over. The birds seem most prevalent in the mornings. But they don't come every morning. I can't guarantee that you will be sung to.

  6. That was not exactly the kind of water feature I was looking for in our yard. Thank you for starting the conversation with "I have good news... the sprinkler guy is coming today!"

  7. I'm not so sure what to say about this one, but I like the unique way your mind works. ;)


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