Monday, January 17, 2011

SabreTooth Will Never Be Elder's Quorum President

As many of you know, we were recently released as Sunbeam Teachers in our ward.  This means that I currently don't have any sort of job at church.  The break is nice.  I like to be able to just sit back and learn about Christ.  But with it comes some uncertainty.  You see, having a calling means I know what my calling is.  If I don't have one they could call me to anything scary at any moment.  This brings me some anxiety.  (I know that the Lord will only call me to do jobs I can handle, and that I will learn and grow from it.  That doesn't mean that new things aren't scary)

So that's where SabreTooth comes in.  You see, I was pondering ways that I could help the Bishop know he shouldn't give me a scary calling.  My first strategy was that Robyn could start spreading rumors that I am a potty mouth.  Then I recently had my mouth washed out with soap.  Though the rumor was never true, it just feels like it would lose some impact now.

Then I met SabreTooth.  Or at least I met a guy that looks exactly like him.  My first thought was, "Does that guy know he looks just like SabreTooth?"  Then my second thought was, "That guy will totally not be Elder's Quorum President.  He's a genius."  (If you don't know who SabreTooth is, he is a villain in the X-Men series of movies and comic books.)
So that's all I have to do.  Grow a beard like SabreTooth and some freakishly long fingernails.  I could totally do that.  There's only one problem.  My wife doesn't want to be married to SabreTooth.  I mean, I understand her concern.  Wolverine is easily more awesome.
But, I'd have to get retractable claws surgically added to my hands.  While it would be awesome, that's a much more difficult project.  The other option I've pondered is to become a creepy snake guy.
That is sure to get results.  But, I'm guessing Robyn doesn't want to be married to a creepy snake guy either.

I don't think any of that is going to work.  I suppose I'll just have to remain Jeff and accept whatever responsibilities that are given to me.  I'm sure I'll be happier doing the Lord's work in whatever capacity He asks of me, even if I don't have retractable claws.


  1. I just got a new calling last week... fellowshipping committee. Awesome, I know. Good luck! Can't wait to hear what the Bishop calls you to!

  2. I personally like you the way you are and that you will be great wherever they call you. By the way I am married to the nerdy guy and that is good enough for me.

  3. I know your anxiety. The bishop of my new ward just called me today.

  4. After much pondering I think I figured out a way to solve your problem. Less medical procedures and doing bizarre things. This is what you need Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Continue to be nice and kind at church. However, when they call you then you can lash out. That way Robin doesn't have crazyness and you control a little more what you want. I know you will do great at whatever you are asked because of your humor and Great Knowledge as well.

  5. You are totally going to be the next EQP. I know that because Robyn wants to be married to the EQP and Robyn wants what Robyn gets. Good luck with that...

  6. Cameron, the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde strategy is excellent. Can I pick which version of Mr. Hyde I get to be? The book has him as just a crazy little guy, but I kind of want to be more like the Mr. Hyde from League of Extraordinary Gentlemen who was more like the Incredible Hulk.

    I suppose that violates the whole premise of what you're saying. But his biceps were like 2 feet in diameter in that movie. What's not to like?

  7. I think that idea is great. Then you get what you need with handling the issue, and as long as they don't ask anything of you Robin gets fun loving Jeff. I think that is a superb idea. You should start on that immediately.

  8. The Mr. Hyde idea could work. Just strap a backpack to each arm and away you go on a backpacking trip with the Scouts.

  9. I tried to help with your project by telling Joni what "kind of person" you are and telling her to relay it to the bishop. But I kept forgetting what you told me to tell her.I guess you'll just have to accept whatever you get!


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