Fat Toys and Snuggle Tummies

The world needs more honesty.  Luckily,  the world is filled with children.  Precious, honest children.

The other day Robyn's brother came over to visit.  He brought 3 of his children and we had fun visiting and playing.

My 4-year-old niece had just made some very important acquisitions.  She had acquired a set of toys based on the various characters from Disney's Tangled.  Of course, if you had just obtained a collection of such value, you would want to show it off, amiright?  She was doing just that, she was showing us all of the toys, one by one.  With each toy, she told us who it was and gave us background information so that we could truly understand the character.

As she went through, she was saying things like, "This is Maximus, he's a horsie."  "This is Rapunzel, she has long hair, like me."  "This is her mom, she's not nice."

She got through all of them, and then she came to this guy:

She held him proudly in the air.  She looked right at me with a giant grin and a sparkle in her eye and said, "He's fat like you, Jeff!"

I've lost 55 pounds so far this year.  I've walked 260 miles.  I've burned 192,500 calories more than I've eaten.  I've worked my tail off.  Some might think the 4-year-old honesty in that moment would be discouraging.  But, if you could see the look in her eyes when she said it you would see how much love that statement contained.  There was no judgment or malice, merely an observation that her uncle whom she loves shares an attribute with her toy that she loves.

Besides, how could anything said by someone this cute be taken negatively?

The good news is that her equally honest siblings have acknowledged my weight loss.  So, it hasn't gone entirely unnoticed in the world of childdom.  Both of her older siblings have told me in recent months that they are very disappointed that my snuggle tummy is shrinking.  Several times in recent weeks they have asked to snuggle with my tummy before it disappears.

This is her older sister making proper use of the snuggle tummy about a year ago, before it started shrinking.

The snuggle tummy has been very important to all of them for a long time.  When their mom was pregnant, I was told, "My mom has a tummy like yours, but it's not for snuggling because there's a baby inside."

So here's what I've learned from talking to my nieces.

1.  I may have lost weight but I haven't completed my journey yet.
2.  Snuggling is really important.
3.  I will always be loved, regardless of what I look like.
4.  Little girls are really cute.

What have you learned from the wisdom and honesty of little children?

Labor Day in the Wilderness

Labor Day is a fantastic day.  I mean think about it.  Normally, your weekend consists of a Friday Night (usually date night for us) then a Saturday (This is usually our get stuff done around the house day) then a Sunday (A good day to go to church and spend time with family)

Sunday nights are sad because they are followed by Monday.

But on Monday holidays such as Labor Day, there is no sadness Sunday night.  It's as if Monday got replaced with a bonus Saturday.  Bonus Saturday is even better than regular Saturday, because you already did the stuff around the house, so you get to play all day.  (Plus, bonus is just such a fun word to say.)

I told Robyn I wanted to go hiking to celebrate the "contributions workers have made to the strength, prosperity, and well-being of their country."  (I stole that from Wikipedia.  Who knew that's what Labor day was about?  I thought it was about barbecue.)

Robyn told me the desired difficulty of our hike, and I found a suitable one that we had never before experienced in my local hiking guide.  We decided we were hiking to Lake Solitude.  It definitely didn't disappoint.

The trail head starts out at some marsh lands surrounding Silver Lake.  The trail consists of wooden planks going over the marshes.  If you don't look at the pre-built wooden trail or the gobs of labor day hikers, you can pretend that you are Frodo trudging through the marshes on the way to Mount Doom.  It's quite fun.

Eventually, the marshes give way to an actual lake.

Granted, it's still a marshy lake.

The trail wraps around Silver Lake with an offshoot headed to Lake Solitude.  The offshoot trail is a little bit more steep and takes you through some fun scenery.

You hike through some aspen forest

But most of the forest is filled with evergreens

And you get the occasional glimpse of a ski lift.

You may even see a chipmunk or two.

If you're luck you'll see this cute girl.  But I can't guarantee she'll be there when you go.

It's about a mile and half out to Lake Solitude, and it's a 500 foot climb.  So, it's not super hardcore but this would have been a very difficult hike for me a year ago.  I was very proud of myself as we zipped up the mountain passing loads of other hikers.

Eventually we reached Lake Solitude and were greeted by this view.

We hiked around the lake and found a good little spot to have a little picnic.

This was our view during the picnic.

On our way back we saw some berries.  I don't know what kind of berries they were, but if the Hunger Games are ever hosted near Lake Solitude and I am a contestant, I am feeding them to Fox Face.

They look harmless, right?

As we were walking back, we saw some children standing on a rock getting their picture taken.  Robyn explained that she has many childhood pictures of her standing on a rock. Apparently rocks are good for photo ops.

Naturally, I told Robyn to sit on a rock so I could take a picture.

She rolled her eyes at me, but she let me take this shot.

It was a successful hike, and thus a successful labor day.  But, don't go away.  There's one more thing I need to show you.  That evening, we had my brother and his wife over for dinner.  We had a fire in the backyard and roasted hot dogs.  They brought Twinkies.  We had to do something special to celebrate the return of Twinkies from oblivion.  So this happened.

That's right.  We roasted Twinkies over the fire.  I'm not gonna lie.  It was amazing.  They were crispy on the outside and ooey gooey melted goodness on the inside.

Aren't you glad Hostess has returned?

I hope your Labor Day was as good as mine.

Fat Guy in a Little Coat

Robyn and I had the opportunity to go to Bear Lake with some friends this past weekend.  It was loads of fun, and I'll tell you more about it in just a moment.  But first, the tale of the fat guy in a little coat.

While we were at Bear Lake, Robyn and I were reminiscing about a trip we took to Bear Lake with my family in 2009.  We had spent the entire day in the lake, and that evening the whole family went out for pizza.

There was something funky going on with my body.  Apparently the lake had lowered my body temperature, and then the air conditioning in the restaurant formed the perfect storm that caused me to be cold.  I need to repeat that just in case you didn't fully comprehend.  I was cold.  That's not an occurrence that happens very frequently, or ever.  I'm the guy who wears flip flops in sub-zero weather.

Of course, I wasn't prepared for the possibility of getting cold.  It was August.  It was hot outside.  Luckily, I married someone who gets cold no matter how hot it is.  (One of my favorite quotes from Robyn is, "It's getting cold outside, yesterday it was in the eighties.")  Robyn was kind enough to loan me her jacket.  Much hilarity ensued, as I became the fat guy in a little coat.  But at least I stopped shivering.

I was the most precious fat guy in a little coat there ever was.

You may be wondering why I told you that ancient story.  Well, like I said earlier, Robyn and I were reminiscing about the time I had to borrow her coat.  Then, I actually looked at the picture.

It turns out I was a big dude back then.  I had like 14 chins or something.

Every time I look at a picture like that I am somewhat blown away.  I guess since I see myself every day, the changes aren't noticeable from day to day.  I look at myself and see how much further I have to go.  Perhaps I forget how far I've already come.

Here are Robyn and I from this past weekend.

I know Robyn is the cuter one in the pic.  But I have a surprisingly low number of chins.  I'm sure that doesn't excite the rest of you like it does me.  Sometimes I just have to stop and look at how far I've come.  Because I still have just as far to go.

Besides the realization that there is much less of me in the world, it was also a great weekend overall.

I know this post has multiple personality disorder, but I'm now going to transition from telling you I'm excited that I have less chins to telling you about our trip to Bear Lake.

We got there Friday night.  Utah has had some crazy weather lately with plenty of rain and storms.  Laketown was no exception and we lost all power that night.  Luckily, Robyn had brought some glow in the dark bracelets.  A dark house is perfect for just such a toy.  How awesome is that?

Yes.  Toys meant for 8 year olds are perfect for us.

The next morning I got up early to do my exercise.  There were no moose like last week, but I did see such wildlife as falcons, deer, and cows.  (The falcons and deer were wild.  The cows not so much, so perhaps they weren't wildlife, but just life.)  I also climbed halfway up a mountain.  I would have gone to the top but I was worried I wouldn't be back in time for breakfast.  (It's the most important meal of the day.)

I did get high enough for this view.

The water in the foreground is a little fishing pond.  Bear Lake is way in the distance.

After Breakfast we all spent the entire day at the lake.

I got to spend time with fabulous people.

A trip to Bear Lake is not complete until you hug a buoy.

It was a great weekend.  I think the relaxation was just perfect for Robyn after her first week back to teaching this year.

I feel relaxed just looking at this picture.  It's even better being there.

Is that Elvish on Your Wedding Ring?

There's a question I've been getting a lot lately.  People see the ring on my finger, and they want to know if The One Ring is really my wedding ring.

It's black.  That's how you know it's not really Sauron's ring.

The question has come in a number of different ways.
"Is that your wedding ring?"
"Is that elvish on your ring?"
"Is that the ring of power?"

But my favorite came from my sister.  She just pointed at my finger and said, "That's not your wedding ring!"

She's right, it's not my wedding ring.  But I have stopped wearing my wedding ring.

Don't worry, I haven't left my wife for some floozy from Mordor.  I'm still very much in love with my wife.  You should also know that my wife gave me the Ring of Power, and there are zero Mordorian females in this story.

The story actually starts before our wedding.  I had never worn a ring before.  When we picked out my wedding ring I chose the size that seemed the most comfortable.  Unbeknownst to me, I selected one that was just a little large.  It was fine most of the time, but when the ring got cold, it would abandon me.  Like the time it lept off my finger and rode on the outside of the car for 50 miles.

Last year, when we were going to Hawaii, I was terrified of losing my ring in the ocean.  Robyn and I decided to buy some cheaper rings for our vacation.  I bought something that was smaller so that it could stay on even in the water, but it also wouldn't be the end of the world if it fell off.  Naturally, I wanted the ring of power, but Robyn went with the Lord of the Rings theme as well.

Robyn went with Galadriel's ring

Here is me drinking from a coconut with the ring of power on.

So now let's fast forward to the present.  I have lost just over 50 pounds.  My ring that used to be slightly large but only fell off when my hands were covered in snow became ginormous and wouldn't stay on under any circumstances.

I realized my ring was just not going to work on our recent vacation.  I was walking down the street in Seattle when it made a run for it.  I was literally chasing my ring down the street in downtown Seattle.

After that, I became terrified that it would disappear any moment.

My sister-in-law shot this pic of me defending my ring as we got on the cruise ship.

When we got on the cruise ship to Alaska, my ring went into the safe and stayed there for the whole trip.  When we got home I dug up the ring of power from the year before and it became permanently fixed on my finger.

I figure when I'm done losing weight I'll get my actual wedding ring resized, but until that time I am wearing a ring forged in the very heart of Mordor.

So, now you know.  Yes, I am wearing a ring of power.  Yes, it says in Sauron's tongue that it is designed to bring all other rings and in the bind them in darkness.

And yes, I am nerdy enough to wear a ring that nearly destroyed everything good in Middle Earth as a symbol of my love for my wife.

Happy Birthday President Monson!

President Thomas S. Monson, Prophet and President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints turned 86 on Wednesday.  I know I'm a little late to the party.  I hope he won't mind that I wrote this a couple days late.

He's been a good looking guy for all 86 years.

You probably think I'm going to write something about the wisdom he has shared over the years.  That would be a good thing to do.  He has taught many great things.  Unfortunately, I'm too geeky for that.  Maybe next year.

It turns out I was thinking about his age and I just got to thinking about how much the church has grown in his lifetime.  I was curious, and you all know how much I like numbers.  I thought I'd look some up.  And since I was already compiling some numbers, I thought I'd share them with all of you.  Personally, I think these numbers are fascinating, but if you don't, you are welcome to skip this post and come back at a later time.  (Just promise to come back, okay?)

President Monson was born August 21, 1927.  There weren't any statistics published on that day, but there were some a month and a half later at General Conference.  So, don't be offended that these numbers don't reflect 100% of the church growth in his lifetime.  Any new growth between August 21, 1927 and October 7, 1927 totally won't be reflected here.  My apologies.

My main sources for this data were the statistical information given at the October 1927 General Conference, the statistical information given at the April 2013 General Conference and Wikipedia (naturally).


Temples
1927: 6
2013: 141

My wife and I at the Manti Temple, one of the 6 temples that would have been standing in 1927.

At the time of the October 1927 General Conference, there were 6 temples in operation: 4 in Utah, 1 in Hawaii and 1 in Alberta, Canada.  There was one set to be dedicated later that month in Mesa, Arizona for a total of 7.  It's funny to read the talks given at that conference.  I noticed several references to the "Canada temple."  Canada is a big place that currently has 8 temples with a 9th under construction, so it's funny to see them reference the singular Canada temple.

Membership
1927:  644,745
2013:  14,782,473

Little baby Tommy Monson could count himself among the first million to join the church.  At 644 thousand, the church had already come a long way from the original 6 members when it was formally organized on April 6, 1830.  In President Monson's lifetime, another 14 million made the decision to join as well.

Wards and branches
1927: 1,005
2013: 29,014

A ward building in Hawaii that my Grandpa helped build.

Wards and branches are congregations within our faith.  Wards usually have their own church building to meet in and are generally a few hundred people.  Branches are smaller congregations located in more remote areas.  They may or may not have their own building to meet in.  In 1927, there were 930 wards and 75 branches, but the current statistical data lumps them together, so I lumped both numbers together as well.  Interestingly, they actually announced at the October 1927 General Conference what new wards had been formed since the previous conference.  That would make for a long meeting today.

Missions
1927: 27
2013: 347

Me with my grandparents, when I was a missionary and they were too.

When members of the LDS Church choose to serve a proselyting mission, they are assigned to a geographical area (also called a mission).  This area is presided over by a Mission President who will give individual missionaries assignments to serve in a particular city.  Today there are 81,951 missionaries serving in 347 missions.  I couldn't find any data on how many individuals there were serving in 1927, but if we assume the same number of missionaries per mission, there would have been 6,372 missionaries in the 27 world wide missions.

It's amazing to think that in 86 years the church membership has grown by 2200%.  It's almost like it's some sort of stone cut out of a mountain without hands filling the whole earth.

I'm sure President Monson is thrilled to realize how many people have come to Christ in his lifetime.  I can't imagine a better birthday present than that.  Happy Birthday President Monson!

Twenty Nine States

I had the opportunity this past week to go to Durham, North Carolina. I was travelling for business and I went out there to meet with a client for a new project. I'd tell you all about the project I went out there for, but the truth is that you don't care. I'll just say that it fits in with my life mission to increase efficiency in the world.

The important thing about my visit to North Carolina is that it is a state I have never before visited.  That makes 29 states which have had the pleasure of having me set foot within their borders.

For your convenience, I have included this handy dandy map of every state I have visited.  Green means go, as in I have gone there.  White means meanie pants, as in, the people in those states never invite me over to hang out which is totally mean.

Is your state white?  Invite me over to fix the problem.

Most of my time in NC was spent working.  However, I did have a little bit of time to explore the area.  Here are a few of my experiences and observations.

Billions of trees
The first thing I noticed when I arrived in North Carolina was that there were so many trees.  I was in a big city, but it felt very rural, because everywhere I drove all I could see was trees.  I took a short walk from the office building where I was working.  I only walked a few hundred yards and I was in the middle of a forest.

I told my boss that we need to get a trail going through a forest at our office in Utah.

Driving through the city I was constantly amazed, but it wasn't until I got on the plane to go home that I really understood how many trees there were.

You wouldn't think there was a city in there, but there are 700,000 people hiding in those trees.

The Silent Sam controversy
I was told that Silent Sam is a landmark I need to go see.  It turns out, Silent Sam is very controversial.  Since he honors the UNC graduates who fought in the Civil War, some feel that he is glorifying the Confederacy, and by extension, slavery.

Silent Sam

To the sons of the University who entered the war of 1861-65 in answer to the call of their country and whose lives taught the lesson of their great commander that duty is the sublimest word in the English language.

To me, that plaque doesn't seem offensive.  It doesn't even mention the Confederacy or slavery.  However, I'm not taking sides in the controversy.  I'm just a cute little tourist.

A real southern meal
We went out to eat with some locals.  I was assured that if I wanted a truly Southern experience, I should order the shrimp and grits.

I've never had grits before, so I don't know what it's normally like.  If I'm being honest, the grits were kind of flavorless.  However, the gravy that was over them was absolutely delicious.  Of course, the shrimp was fabulous because it happens to be shrimp which is always fabulous.

Chapel Hill?
There is a "hill" in Chapel Hill, NC that has a bunch of chapels on it.  I assume that is where it gets its name.  However, if that "hill" were in Utah, it would be called, "flat area with some chapels on it."  I know that's not quite as cool of a name as Chapel Hill, but it would be more accurate.  To test how much of a hill it was, we put the car in neutral and let it coast.  There was a slight downward slope, however the car maxed out at 20 mph on the steepest part.  I'll let you decide if that qualifies as a hill.

Skinny on the plane
Okay, this really has nothing to do with North Carolina.  However, this was my first time on a plane since I began my weight loss journey.  For years, every time I've ridden a plane I've had to ask for a seat belt extender.  This time, not only did I not need one, but I had lots of extra room with the regular seat belt.

I sent the above picture to my wife when I got on the plane.  I was very excited.

Marriage tip:  Even if your wife is excited about your weight loss, a picture like this will not excite her at 5:45 AM. Her response when I sent this picture was short and to the point:  "Good.  I'm asleep."

Oops!