A Stranger, a Phone and a BMW

I love technology.  It has completely changed our world.  It has also completely changed the way we communicate.  I had an amusing experience that I felt needed to be shared.

I recently received a picture message from an unknown sender. The area code was in Florida, so I had no idea who might be sending it.  First, they sent this:

I was confused as to who would want to share this vehicle with me, but I just ignored it.  They really wanted me to enjoy the car though, so they sent this:

Of course, that didn't help me know any better who it was, so I texted back and said, "That's a nice BMW but who is this?"  Their reply was simple, they sent this:

Don't get me wrong, this dude looks awesome with his beamer, but since I've never seen him before it didn't help answer the question of who it was.

Of course, the next thing he did was to call me.  I answered the phone and he asked for Marissa.  When I told him he had the wrong number he was not to be detoured.  "It's your wife."  Was his reply.  I tried to explain to him that, though my memory is not perfect, I can remember my wedding day and I distinctly remember getting married to someone named Robyn.

He was confused at this point, "Marissa isn't your wife?"

"No, sorry."

He apologized and hung up.  So, someone out there in Florida has a wife named Marissa who wants to see an awesome guy with a BMW.  If you see Marissa tell her I took a message from awesome BMW guy.

What Happened to Honesty?

I've had thoughts on this subject for a long time. But the events of the past few weeks have made those thoughts come closer to the surface of my mind.

What happened to honesty? Why don't people keep their word? I have a very vivid memory of the first time I discovered that other people didn't think it was important to tell the truth. I was in second or third grade, I was in the lunch room. As children do, somebody mixed up a few different foods and made an unappetizing concoction. One of the other kids put a dollar on the table and said that he would give it to whomever would eat the mush that had been created. I quickly reviewed in my head what was in this undesirable mix and decided that there was nothing inedible in it. The taste may not be desirable but that would be over in moments. Clearly the transaction was worth a dollar. In my first experience in the services industry, I became a contractor that ate something gross in exchange for compensation.

Of course, we had no written contract, but in my eyes, why would we need one?  I promptly ate the mush.  In exchange, this other little boy pointed at me and laughed, while saying scornfully, "I totally tricked you, why would I pay you?"  Of course, I was faster than him and I grabbed his dollar before he could, and made no offer to return it to him.  (Was that dishonest of me?  It's debatable, but I recognize I was certainly not perfect in this transaction.)

That was the first time I realized that people don't tell the truth.  As a little boy, it baffled me that someone would make an offer they didn't intend to honor.

Throughout my life I have been baffled by the rampant dishonesty around me.  When I lived in BYU housing and signed the honor code, it really bothered me that there were so few around me that took the honor code seriously.  Did I think some of the rules were really stupid?  Absolutely!  But I signed a paper saying I would keep those rules.  When midnight came and I kicked girls out, occasionally some were offended, but my integrity was more important than their feelings at that moment.  (I did try to do it nicely, and tried to give warning before midnight, and most girls understood because they also had signed the honor code, but some of the most offended were a few that had signed it but didn't think they actually had to honor what they signed.)

That brings me to the present.  For those of you who don't know, Robyn and I are in the process of buying a house.  We're really excited about it, it has a beautiful mountain view, (because I didn't want to give up my current mountain view) Robyn gets the master bathroom she's always wanted, and it has an unfinished basement which will hold my library and my sweet home theater room in the future.  We're not selling our current house, though.  We're going to keep it as a rental property.  Part of the reason for this is that its value significantly dropped after I purchased the house.  If we sell it, we'll lose a bunch of money, so we want to hold onto it until the value comes back.

So what is the honesty issue?  We've been approved for financing, but our loan officer has made us fax him copies of the lease agreements with our new renters and he's made us jump through all sorts of hoops.  He says that investors want to know that we're not going to walk away from the old house and let it go into foreclosure.  When he said that, I was blown away.  That had never even occurred to me as an option.  I thought about saying, "Well, I can fax them my mortgage that says I'll pay it off over the next 30 years unless I pay it sooner."  I figure the fact that I signed a contract and gave me word to actually honor the mortgage should be enough proof that I intent to honor it.  I mean, I know it's not their fault that the contract I signed doesn't mean anything to them.  So many people are just walking away from signed contracts.  No one honors their word anymore.

People say things like, "The bank shouldn't have given me a loan I couldn't afford."  What happened to personal responsibility?  If you can't afford a loan, don't get that loan.  Two people with the same income can't necessarily afford the same loan.  One may like to go out to dinner more than the other.  One may have a tendency to gamble.  One may have a sick family member.  These are all things that the individual should figure out for themselves.  This is not the responsibility of the banks to figure out.  Your lack of forethought does not exempt you from your obligations when you sign that contract.

Sorry for my ranting.  I'm just frustrated with the difficulties we're having in proving that we really intend to rent out our house.  I just wish we could live in a world where my word would be enough, because people actually honor their word.  I'm not worried about whether we'll get the house.  I know we will, but we'll just have to jump through a lot of hoops before we do.  Meanwhile, I still believe in honesty.  Maybe, if you're reading this, you'll join me in making our world a place that honors honesty.

There are No Ties in Monticello

This weekend Robyn and I decided to embark on an adventure with our friends Cameron and Tammy.  As part of our continuing mission to visit all of the LDS Temples in Utah, we drove down to Monticello to experience the temple there.  We thought it would be fun to go to the temple and then stop off at Arches National Park to do some hiking.

Upon our arrival at our hotel, it occurred to me that, in my infinite wisdom, I had forgotten to bring my tie.  I had my suit coat, my dress shoes, my white shirt, everything else I need, but somehow I forgot a tie.  I figured it wouldn't be a big deal.  I'd just swing by a store and purchase a tie before we go to the temple.  I called the front desk at our hotel and asked where they thought I could buy a tie.  They couldn't think of anyone that sold ties.  I wanted to ask, "Does your husband own a tie?  Where did he get it?"  But I figured that wouldn't be nice.  We even went to a little store nearby and asked the teller if she knew of anywhere that might sell ties.  Apparently no ties can be bought or sold within Monticello city limits.

I went to the temple without a tie.  I saw people coming out and figured they didn't need their ties anymore.  I told Robyn I should go offer to buy one of them, but she felt that was much too embarrassing so I didn't do it.

Here is a self portrait we took at the temple.  There are more pics at my temple blog

After the temple, we proceeded to Arches National Park.  Luckily, a tie isn't required attire in Arches.  But apparently Robyn and I had a disagreement about what attire was required.  You see, I was under the impression that we were in the middle of the desert in southern Utah.  I think she thought we were in Alaska.  But this is us in front of Balanced Rock.

We hiked up to Delicate Arch.  I have done that hike a number of times in my life, but I've always done it in the middle of the night. (You can see some night shots at Robyn's blog from a previous trip.)  Cameron and Tammy were with us but we decided they were cheating because their legs are longer and require less strides.  This is what we looked at the whole way up.  (Isn't it unfair that they were ahead the whole time?  President Obama should do something about this.  I think when you spread the height around, it's good for everybody.)

We finally made it to Delicate Arch despite the fact that we are vertically challenged and required more strides to get there.  We celebrated by being precious in front of the arch.

That other guy was celebrating with us.  That's how he rolls.

The Pies Have Returned

Well, March 14th came just like it does every year.  And just like every year we got together to celebrate the fabulous number pi (3.14) by eating pie.  (If you don't understand the correlation, March 14th can be written 3/14 which is similar to 3.14)

Pi day is a fabulous day every year.  It's the day that all the normal people can appreciate the geeky ones among us who get excited about numbers.  They don't notice the geekitude because they're too busy eating pie.

This year wasn't as big as some of our past celebrations but it was a success nonetheless.

We had a goodly number of pies.

We also had a good crew of people ready to eat pie.

We had judges who were selected because they had been on the BYU dance team. (Look, we've had a lot of pie nights over the years, getting new judges each time is difficult.  Sometimes you have to make up some qualifications.  Clearly dancers know if pie tastes good right?)

I feel we gave out good prizes this year for the best pies.  First prize went to my BFF Jared W's mom.  She has been a faithful attender at our pie events for years.  She's been in the top 3 many times but this was her first time to take the crown.  She leaped for joy and hugged me with such energy I was almost knocked over. You can't see it but I am presenting her a 10 dollar gift certificate to Kneaders. (So she can buy more pie)

Second prize went to Kathryn, she got this fancy calculator/ruler combo.  Now she can calculate pi to her heart's content.

Third prize went to Carla, but her reward was possibly better than the other two.  She was presented with an autographed picture of me and Robyn.  (That will be worth some serious cash someday.)

It was a great event.  I look forward to many great pi days in the future.  It was also pointed out to me that tau (2 pi) is a great constant as well.  I don't know why we've never celebrated it before but we may have to celebrate Tau day on June 28th.  Tau has twice as much pie!  Stay tuned for that goodness.

The Low Battery Detector

We all know the dangers of fire.  If there is a fire in your home you could be burned or could inhale too much smoke.  These are things that most people consider to be less desirable.

To avoid these unpleasant scenarios many people purchase smoke detectors to put in their homes.  I am currently cranky at my smoke detector, so the rest of this post will be expressing that crankiness.  But before anyone gets too cranky at me I would like to express that I am a believer in smoke detectors and we even pay extra so that our smoke detector will automatically call the fire department if there is a problem.

Now that I've given that disclaimer, I'd like to discuss the function of the smoke detector.  It's whole purpose is that when there is smoke it makes a loud, obnoxious sound that should be translated in your head to mean, "DUDE!  THERE'S A FIRE IN YOUR HOUSE THAT COULD KILL YOU! GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!"  Yes, I believe if they could speak they would use the word "dude".

Fortunately, we have never had a fire so ours has not had to deliver that message.  Unfortunately, it still wants to be an active part of my life.  One of ours happens to be in the hallway right outside the bathroom door.  Whenever I take an exceptionally long shower, the steam flows out of the bathroom when I open the door.  The alarm goes off to notify me "DUDE!  YOU TOOK A REALLY LONG SHOWER!  IT MADE LOTS OF STEAM!  IT'S STEAMY! IT'S STEAMY! IT'S STEAMY!"  This is a very helpful message to receive, especially since I then get a call from the monitoring company and I have to explain that my house is not burning down, I just took a long shower.

But that's not why I am currently cranky.  The other night, I was awoken from my gentle slumber by a beeping noise.  I lay there and slowly drifted to the point where I was almost back asleep when it went off again.  This process repeated about 50,000 times.  My heart was filled with much anger.  The beeping was the alarm's way of saying. "DUDE!  MY BATTERY IS LOW!  I NEED A NEW BATTERY NOW! NO SLEEPING! NO SLEEPING!"

Here is what I don't understand about the low battery beep.  If you ignore it, three months later it's still beeping, only the meaning has changed to "DUDE!  YOU THOUGHT I HAD A LOW BATTERY, BUT I HAVE ENOUGH BATTERY TO BEEP UNTIL YOU GIVE IN!  I KNOW YOU'LL CRACK BEFORE I DO! JUST GIVE IN! JUST GIVE IN!"

I'll have you know I heeded the warning.  The beeping only lasted like 36 hours before we had bought new batteries.  But it made me question the primary function of this device.  Is it really a smoke detector?  Certainly it has the ability to detect smoke, but most people will never use that function.  The primary service that it provides is detecting a low charge within a battery.  I hereby declare that they are smoke detectors no more.  Henceforth, they shall be deemed low battery detectors.

I Will Eat Them in a House or With a Mouse

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to live in a world created by Dr. Seuss? His books are filled with fancy architecture and super cool creatures. This week I got a glimpse into that world.

You see, a few days ago was Dr Seuss' birthday. Of course, I was quite ignorant of that fact. But Robyn, in her infinite wisdom, was not. When I came home from work that day I saw Robyn scooping something green onto a plate next to ham. At first I was a little confused but then I realized I was being treated to green eggs and ham.

I've only had green eggs and ham once in my life prior to this experience.  As a small child I was going camping with my dad.  He said I could choose whatever I wanted for breakfast and he would bring what he needed to make it in the morning.  Being a sly little child I wanted to stump my dad by presenting an imaginary dish.  I told him I wanted green eggs and ham.  To my surprise he cooked me some green eggs and ham over a campfire the next morning.

Both of my green eggs and ham experiences transported me into a world of wonder.  Even though this time I was aware of such things as food coloring, it still filled my heart with gladness and took away all my sadness.  (Eased my troubles, that's what it did.)

Now that I know the world of Dr. Seuss is real, I'm hoping that Robyn will step up her game.  I'm hoping to come home to find a new friend she found in the dark in the park.

We will take him home.  We will call him Clark.