Wednesday, January 28, 2015

The Time My Wife made me Steal Ice

I'm a hardened criminal.

Okay, not really.  I didn't actually steal anything.  I don't actually have the ability to do that.  However, it was very similar to stealing.

Here's the story.

On Saturday my wife went grocery shopping.  That's a true act of love, because I hate grocery shopping.  (I hate shopping in general, but grocery shopping happens to be a subset of shopping.)  After performing this great act of love and sacrifice, Robyn came home and let me bring all the groceries in.  (In exactly one trip, as per my lifelong commitment to never take more than that.)

I brought everything in and then suddenly Robyn gave a shout of sheer pain and exasperation:  "Oh no!"  To properly understand the urgency of the situation, you would have to hear her tone.  But just believe me when I say that it was clearly a big problem.  I quickly asked her what was the matter.

"I bought the ice but I forgot to pick it up!"  It was one of those situations where you tell the cashier that you want to buy a bag of ice, but then you grab it yourself on the way out the door.  She had forgotten the "grab it yourself" step.

It was very urgent because we were having a friend over for dinner and she wanted to do Italian sodas.  I offered to run to the store and grab the ice.

She gave me the receipt and told me to walk in and talk to customer service to get permission to grab the ice.

I drove to the store.  I walked over to the ice machine.  I grabbed a bag of ice and got back in my car. I didn't talk to anyone.  I just took it.  I had the receipt in my hand in case anyone questioned me.  But no one did.  So as far as everyone was concerned, I totally stole it.

I'm not gonna lie.  It was kind of exciting.  Even though I wasn't stealing it, since it was already paid for, it still felt like I was going to "get caught".

But more importantly, the Italian sodas were delicious.

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