Wednesday, April 27, 2011

The Potty Proximity Principle

I've been aware of the Potty Proximity Principle for quite some time now. But this past week I was on a road trip through the Midwest and this principle became very noticeable.

I'm sure you're aware of the Potty Proximity Principle. Just cause I made it up is no excuse to not know about it. But just in case you haven't made yourself aware, let me explain.

You see, for some strange reason, the closer I get to a bathroom the more I have to use the bathroom. I don't know why it occurs but it happens all the time. On our recent trip it was particularly prevalent.

We would be driving along through the endless flat plains of Kansas or Nebraska and the car would need some gas so I would pull into a gas station. Mind you, it's been hours since our last stop, and when I decided to pull off I had no need to use the restroom. Yet, I pull into a gas station and begin to fill the car with gas and suddenly I'm potty dancing.
Though I am very familiar with the potty dance I did not make this image.  I found it here
It happened every time.  Then I went inside and as the proximity to the potty increased, the urgency went up exponentially.  By the time I was in line waiting for my turn it was like every ounce of my soul was devoted to the most intricate and exquisite of potty dances.

I watch dancing shows with Robyn sometimes.  She tries to explain to me that each dance is communicating something.  I don't always (or ever) understand what she's saying.  But I might understand now.  My dance was definitely communicating something very powerfully.  I was saying with every wave of my arm or bounce in my step that "I NEED to go NOW!"

So there you have it.  That's the Potty Proximity Principle.  Has anyone else every experienced this?  I'm sure it's some sort of disorder.


  1. You are indeed the best potty dancer I have ever seen. That is saying a lot because I have worked with small children for a LONG time.

  2. Love it. I especially like when your potty dance is sufficient to get you to the front of the line at gas stations. I think it happened more than once.

  3. We have the oposite problem. We would be by a gas station. I would ask if anyone needed to go. We would take those that felt they needed to, but our youngest boy wouldn't need to until after we were back on the road again! So 45 minutes later we would find another gas station. Then about a half hour later he had to go again. We just let him go on the side of the road that time. (Boys are great that way!) So, we limited his water intake on long car rides! Poor little guy.

  4. I've noticed that I need to go potty every time my boss starts working his way over to my desk at work . . . weird.

  5. I've been doing this dance ever since I was potty trained - possibly before. even yesterday, my roommate told me I should just go already since I was dancing so bad.

  6. I think for me the farther away I am from the bathroom on a road trip, the more I have to go. Not so much fun.

  7. You may be the guru of the potty proximity principle, however you didn't have much compassion for your little sister when it attacked her. I seem to remember many tauntings of dripping water to only make matters worse.


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