Sunday, November 14, 2010

They're Coming For You

So I've been telling Robyn that she should say something funny in her sleep, because she hasn't for a long time. Last night, I guess she felt it had been long enough.

I was sleeping like a good kid. My peaceful snore was like the gentle flutter of butterfly wings. I suddenly awoke to Robyn's hand kind of poking me. She was feeling around until she felt my hand and grabbed it so that now we were holding hands. Then with her other hand she reached up and started pulling my pillow towards her.

Keep in mind, just one second earlier I was dancing with sugar plum fairies. Now I'm trying to comprehend why my wife felt that at 2 AM she needed to hold my hand and steal my pillow. My still slightly befuddled brain decided that she must have had a nightmare and she was afraid. I assumed the pulling of my pillow was an attempt to get me to move closer. (Often when we snuggle, I move my pillow to her side of the bed. Then when we go to sleep I move back to my side and enact the no touching policy.)(Yes, Grabbing my hand and pulling my pillow are in direct violation of the aforementioned no touching policy.)

So when I thought she must be afraid I ignored the violation of one of our most important policies and asked if everything was okay.

"They're coming next for you." was her reply. At this point I realized she was still asleep. I was so excited. I hoped she would say some really funny stuff. I was thinking about you, my dear readers.

"Who is coming?" I asked.

"You know, the stuff."

"What stuff?"

At this point she paused for a long time. Her eyes were still closed. I wondered if the moment had passed. She usually doesn't talk in her sleep for very long. I just asked her, "Are you asleep?"

"No, I'm NOT ASLEEP! I'm just thinking."

After a few more seconds she added, "The stuff they give you."

I just giggled to myself a little bit which prompted her to continue, "I'm not talking in my sleep. I'm just not talking very good."

I think at some point in this exchange she had woken up, but I wasn't entirely convinced yet. So I said, "Well, can you open your eyes?"

At this point she opened her eyes and said, "Yes they are open!" Then she got a little cranky at me and asked, "Why did you wake me up just to ask me a bunch of questions about deli sandwiches?"

I tried to explain that in the real world there had been no discussion about deli sandwiches. Apparently in the dream they were bringing me the platter of cheeses and meats. They were coming to allow me to go next to make my sandwich.

The moral of the story is that you should always be prepared to eat sandwiches. You never know when they might be coming next for you.


  1. Well, they were and I just trying to be a good wife by telling you.

    Ok, So I just want to say that I was SO confused and then VERY cranky. I couldn't talk like I wanted too so I just wanted to go back to sleep.

    Sorry I scared you.

  2. That is CLASSIC! I'm glad, Jeff, that you had the presence of mind to think of questions that would make a good blog post. :)

  3. I feel I was a little mislead by the post. I was hoping there would be some reference to the fact that 'we're gonna find you.' But I do appreciate you waking up Robyn for deli sandwiches sake. Some things are more important than sleep, deli sandwiches are among those things.

  4. Do you know if all the Wright girls have an irrational fear of deli sandwiches coming to attack their husbands while they're sleeping? Just curious.

  5. Graham, I don't know if all the Wright girls have this concern. I'm assuming that the one you're really concerned about is your fiancée. You may want to have a discussion about how she feels about deli sandwiches.

    Or, you could do what I did which was just jump in and discover things like that after you're married. It's definitely the more adventurous way. It's quite fun actually.

    But do us all a favor and write about it on your blog, so we can all share in the adventure. :)

    Jared, I'm sorry you feel mislead. How is this: "You don't have to come and confess. We're looking for you. We gon' find you."

  6. Hahahahahahaha. I like Robyn. :)


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