On Drugs

I'm totally on drugs.  But I have a goal to be drug free, just like I learned in elementary school.

It all started about 6 months ago.  I hate going to the pharmacy. As such, I asked my doctor if there were a way for me to get my diabetes medication in large quantities, so that I could pick it up less often. My doctor, being the kind soul that he is, made sure to oblige. He gave me a prescription for a 3 month supply, which is 2 ginormous bottles of Metformin.

Then, a few months later, after I lost a bajillion pounds (bajillion is totally a number, in this case bajillion means 50)  and significantly lowered my blood sugar, he told me to cut the amount of medication I'm taking in half.

I continued on, taking my lower dosage, until the bottle I was using ran out.  I naturally called the pharmacy to refill my prescription and came home with 2 more ginormous bottles.

That's when Robyn informed me I still had a ginormous bottle that I hadn't used yet.

So my current "ginormous bottle of Metformin" count is up to 3.

I'm not sure why the newer bottles are taller, but they're all ginormous.

Before you decide that you should rush over to my house and steal my large drug stockpile, there are some things you should know.

1.  Stealing from me is not awesome.  We already went over that.
2.  Metformin isn't the type of drug you get high on.  You wouldn't enjoy it.  All it does is help lower your blood sugar.  I suppose if you took enough you might get some really cool shakes and perhaps a coma, but that's the most fun you'll be able to have.

I looked at all those pills and thought about how my kidney would probably appreciate it if I wasn't on drugs.  So I set a goal.

My goal is to never fill that prescription again.   Those 3 bottles should last me a good 9 months at my current dosage.  By then I should be under 200 pounds.  Hopefully, at that point I won't need diabetes medication.

Don't worry, I'll do what my doctor says.  If he says I still need it, I'll keep taking it.

But, I just want to be drug free.   I want to say no to drugs.  It's what the D.A.R.E. officer that visited my fifth grade class would have wanted.

Things Robyn says on Percocet

I recently wrote about how Robyn lost part of her finger.  I also mentioned that she became somewhat amusing when the doctor gave her Percocet for the pain.  I promised you I would share how amusing she was.  So I am totally going to share that.  But first I thought I'd give a quick update.

Her finger has been hurting, but it's definitely healing.  The doctor told us to redress the wound after 2-3 days.  So tonight we had my sister (who is basically a doctor as far as I'm concerned) help us unwrap it and put new bandages on it.  Robyn did really well, even though it was painful.

They make super painful wounds look precious.

So without further ado, here are all of the things that Robyn said while she was on Percocet.  Most of these were said during the drive home from the E.R.  It was just one continuous stream of consciousness that contained all of this goodness.  I wish I had caught it on video, but unfortunately, I was driving.  I tried to remember as much as  I could when I got home, I'm probably missing a few gems, but here is everything I remember:

"I don't want to go back to the ee eye ee eye are.  Wait.... what?"
"I said ee eye ee eye are.  It's like we're going to McDonalds or something."
"I feel wobbly."
"I feel sad."
"I felt like I was gonna pass out.  That's why I went 'whoah'."
"It's like my brain is swirling inside of itself."
"I just cleaned the house.  We can't let it get dirty!"
"I'm wierd.... I'm wierd on percocet."