Check Your Blind Spot

You probably think that the title of this post is some kind of metaphor about how you should be more aware in your life, and look for the areas where you are not seeing reality.  That would be a great blog post for the future.  This one is just a rant about drivers.  Is it really that hard to check your blind spot?  Considering the number of times that I've seen people not do it, you'd think it was some kind of Herculean task.

There's one particular individual I'd like to rant about that personifies mankind's inability to turn their head slightly before moving their steering wheel.  I have affectionately named our villain, "GMC Sonoma license plate 2469G".  That's just a name I came up with.  I call her Lil' 9G for short.

A few days ago, I was driving along on the freeway, minding my own business.  Lil' 9G was passing me in the lane to my left.  Here's the thing about passing me.  9G came from behind me, that means there was no way she didn't know where I was.  As she passed me, she got to the point where I was in her blind spot.

A normal person would think, "That person that was in front of me a moment ago is not visible in my mirror.  I bet they are in my blind spot.  I should keep moving forward until I can see them in my mirror.  Then I should check my blind spot to be sure it's safe before moving over."  But that's not what Lil' 9G thought.  Being the wise person she is, her thought process went something like this.  "Just a moment ago I saw a car in front of me.  I went forward a few feet, logic would say that person is now to the right of me, but since I can't see them, they must have magically vanished.  It's like when I was little and I would close my eyes to make everyone else vanish from the world.  Well, I guess I better crank my wheel to the right."

As Lil' 9G began entering my lane, I pondered my options.  To my right was a giant semi, so I couldn't go there.   I did crank my wheel a little to the right to avoid a collision.  I came within a few inches of the semi.  I also laid on my horn.  Lil' 9G said, "I hear a loud sound.  I guess I better keep going."  I slammed on my brake and 9G just came right on in.  I'm pretty sure the person behind me had to slam on their brake to avoid hitting me.  I almost spun out from swerving to avoid 9G and then swerving the other way when I realized I was about to hit a semi.

You want to know the worst part of the whole ordeal?  Well, I suppose the worst part is that I came within inches of death.  But the second worst part is that Lil' 9G was completely oblivious.  She could have actually killed me and been none the wiser.  In fact, I choose to believe that Lil' 9G has already killed countless millions.

The moral of the story is that Lil' 9G is still at large.  If you see her, stay far away, she might kill you.  Also, if you have the option, feel free to slash her tires.

The second moral of the story is that you should check your blind spot.  It's really not that difficult.

Bad Drivers are Booger Eaters

There I was, driving along like a good kid.  It was my normal morning commute from Lehi to Orem.  There was a person in the lane to my right.  We were going approximately the same speed, but I was about 5mph faster.  This person was a few hundred feet in front of me when I noticed them, but since I was going faster, that number was getting smaller.

Suddenly, and inexplicably, when I was about 6 feet behind this person they felt it was time to move over into my lane.  Did they signal?  No.  Did they look in their mirror? Of course not.  Check their blind spot?  Not a chance. At that particular moment, I was probably in their blind spot, but had they taken 3 seconds to signal and look, they would have noticed I was there.  The relative distance in speeds meant that I would only be in their blind spot for 1-2 seconds.

When this person suddenly appeared 6 feet in front of me, I naturally hit my break and also quickly changed lanes to the left.  As I passed this individual I looked over at the driver to see what kind of a person it was that was completely oblivious to the near death experience we had both had.

The driver was a female, approximately 25 years old.  She looked like a normal person, probably really friendly if you met her in any other situation.  She didn't look over at me.  She had no idea of the seething hatred I had for her.  I was doing my best to give her an evil eye as I went by.  But that's when it happened.

What is the it I'm referring to?  Well, her finger went straight up her nose, and I mean deep.  She was digging for gold in the deepest recesses of her face.  And she found something, a treasure of great price.  Her finger came out and she looked at that booger with glee, and that's when her finger went straight into her mouth. That's right, this terrible driver was a booger eater.

I gagged a little bit.

The first time I saw someone eat a booger, I was four or five years old.  I remember it like it was yesterday.  The kids's name was Matt and he chowed right down.  I was so grossed out that I threw up then and there.  This time I just gagged a little.  Look how I've grown.

Here's what I've decided to learn from this situation.  All of you out there that are oblivious to your surroundings while driving, I'm pretty sure you eat boogers.  If you cut me off on the freeway, you probably eat boogers.  If you don't look when you change lanes, you probably eat boogers.  If you chill in the left lane and make people pass you on the right, you probably eat boogers.

Just be aware that every time you do something like this, I'm going to think in my mind that you eat boogers.  Do you really want to be lumped with the booger eaters of the world?  If not, perhaps you should pay more attention while driving.

Oh, and if I ever see anyone eating their boogers, after I gag I'm going to think in my mind that you're a bad driver.  So don't eat boogers.  Also, don't do it because it's gross.