Questions That Need Answering

Sometimes in life there are questions.  Sometimes it's hard to find the answers.

Over the past couple months, every time one of those unanswerable questions has come to me, I wrote it down.  Now I have gathered them all in one place so that the good people of the internet can answer them for me.

Here goes:

1. Why are they called red grapes when they are clearly purple?
2. How does a razor remember to only cut hair off my face and not cut off skin as well?
3. What if Deja Vu meant that you lost a life and restarted at the last checkpoint?
4. What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about?
5. Of all the utensils that could have been invented to eat rice with, how did two sticks win out?
6. What is a zig-a-zig-ah and why do the spice girls want it so bad?
7. If Jimmy cracked corn and no one cares, why does he keep doing it?
8. When I look in the gym mirror at myself I think "that dude doesn't look happy." So why does the gym have mirrors? 
9. When they have those restrooms that only one person fits in, why do they have a mens and womens?
10. "Love is a battlefield." What does that even mean?
11. Why do hot dogs come in packs of 10 while the buns come in packs of 8?
12. Why do we cook bacon but bake cookies?
13. Why is it that the yoke of an egg is delicious when uncooked, but if the white is uncooked I gag?
14. Why do olives taste gross but olive oil is awesome?
15. Why does hair grow fastest on my neck when clearly neck beards are gross?
16. Why do they call it cupcake wars if no one ever throws cupcakes?
17. Why is it that every person in front of me universally thinks that 30 mph is a good speed for getting on the freeway?

So, dear citizens of the internet.  I hope you can help me out by giving me some answers.  In exchange for your help I will let you look upon this awesomeness:

I googled "questions that need answering" and he came up.  The greatest question is: how did he get so awesome?