The Eye Doctor

I went to the eye doctor.

It was a new experience for me.  I've always had super good eye sight, so an optometriest has never been a necessary person for me to visit.

Don't get me wrong.  I'm sure they're all very nice people.  I don't have anything against them.  I'm not some sort of Anti-optite.  I've just never had a reason to visit before now.

However, there were two main reasons that caused me to make this visit at this time.

First, my primary care doctor has been bugging me to go.  It turns out there is something called "diabetic retinopathy."  It turns out that it's something you don't want to have.  It turns out that going blind is not awesome.  He wanted me to get checked out, to make sure I am avoiding all the not awesome things like going blind.

The second reason is that I've recently noticed that my right eye doesn't see as well as my left eye.

So, with those 2 reasons, I headed on over to the doctor.

The most important part of the story is that I got to wear these awesome shades.  If you understand nothing else from this post, understand that I looked awesome after my eyes were dilated, and I feared the light.  (Much like a gremlin.)

The good news is that, according to Back to the Future 2, everyone will be looking this awesome in 2 years.

After seeing how good I looked, feel free to continue.  If seeing my awesome shades is sufficient for you, I understand, you are not required to read on.

Before going to the eye doctor, I got to fill out all sorts of forms explaining my life to the finest detail.  It turns out that, in order to be able to tell if I see well, you need to know everything about my life.  Who knew?

After divulging all of my deepest, darkest secrets they took me into a little room and let me wear some head gear.

It's debatable whether I look more awesome with the head gear or with the shades.

Also, for those of you savvy enough to notice, I do in fact have different amounts of facial hair in those 2 pictures.  That is because I didn't actually take a selfie of myself in the headgear.  I took a picture of the headgear and photoshopped it onto a selfie of me from a few months ago.

I just feel so much better, now that I was honest with you.

The result of the headgear test was that I am 20/30 in my right eye due to astigmatism.  They claim I've probably had it my entire life and never noticed.  I don't think that explains why my vision has deteriorated recently, but whatevs.

After the head gear test, they had to dilate my eyes.  This allows them to peer deep into my soul and discern if I have diabetic retinopathy.  They first had to put a strange numbing agent on my eye.  It made my eye feel weird and puffy.  After that, they put the magic dilating solution in and left me alone for about 10 minutes.

It was the wierdest thing in the world.  I sat there, playing with my phone, and watching my vision get super blurry.

After I was sufficiently dilated, the doctor came back and peered into my soul as planned.  The verdict:  No diabetic retinopathy.  I'm not going blind.  Woot!

However, they did give me a prescription for glasses, to help with my 20/30 vision.  They said I don't need them if I don't want them.  But now I'm torn.  I miss my old perfect vision and I'd like to have it back, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to wear glasses.

I talked to Robyn about it.  It turns out she has 20/30 vision in one eye after her Lasik a few years ago.  For her that's fantastic, because she had something like 20/1,000,000 before.  For me, it's not so great.

What do you think?  Will I look distinguished with glasses?  I mean, I'm definitely getting Google Glass later on.  I may as well just add some lenses to that so I can have 20/20 vision while simultaneously tweeting and facebooking using only head gestures.