The many moves of Snow Shoveling

As some of you may know, the house we currently live in has the steepest driveway known to man.  During periods of time such as summer, this is not a big deal.  However, there is a little chore I do during the winter that is much more difficult with a steep driveway.  This chore is, of course, shoveling the snow.

It turns out that if a surface is even slightly slippery, that slipperiness seems to multiply if it has any sort of incline.  My attempts to stay upright on my driveway have required me to develop some awesome moves.  I thought I would chronicle a few of these sweet moves, since you're never there to see them.  (Seriously, why do you never come over?)

The first move is called, "Jeff takes flight."  This happens when both of my feet suddenly cease to be underneath me.  I go from vertical to horizontal instantly.  It's quite impressive.

Jeffs were not meant to fly.

The next move I call the "shovel skate."  I do this when I know it is futile to try to stand.  I just point the shovel down the hill and slide behind it, doing my best to remove snow as I go.

I make the shovel skate look good.

Other times I lose one foot, but just before I lose the other foot I put all my weight on the shovel.  Many times the shovel gives out, but when it doesn't I make this excellent dance move.

Have you ever danced with a shovel by the pale moon light?

The final move is the most common.  It would probably be really fun if it wasn't exceedingly painful.  What I do is slip and fall, usually slamming my elbow or knee in the process (and always my bum) then I lose complete control of my whole life until I am at the bottom of the driveway.

I call this, "the slider."

But I have good news (or sad news depending on how much you like to watch me fall.)  I have made a purchase that I believe will save my life.  I bought this fancy little item that can be attached to a shoe.

Aren't they fancy?

Now I can stand straight and tall, due to the improved traction.  I have only shoveled once with these on, but the only fancy move I did consisted of moving snow from my driveway onto a place that is not my driveway.

Now I can feel big and tough when I shovel.

Look what the ability to stand vertically does to a man's ego.