Why Isn't My Wife Bionic?

Yesterday, Robyn had Lasik surgery.  If you are unfamiliar with the procedure, what they actually do is they cut a flap of your eye and then fold that flap out of the way while a laser cuts off little bits of your cornea.  The intent is to reshape the cornea so that it will better focus light on the retina.  When this is achieved vision improves.  The whole concept is really quite miraculous.  They can actually restore a person's vision.  Robyn has already noticed that her vision is better than what it was before even when she was wearing her glasses.

There is only one problem with this whole process.  It sounds really gross.  I'm very glad that I was born with excellent vision because I'm not sure I could go through with it.  You actually lay there wide awake while they prop open your eyelids and cut away a flap of your eye.  I admire Robyn for going through with it.  The only way my mind can cope with the fact that they cut open her eye is to pretend that her eye is just some sort of mechanical device that needed an upgrade.  I have no problem imagining them just doing a routine upgrade on some optical equipment.  But if that's all they are doing, I think we should have splurged to get some fancier equipment.  I mean it's really cool that she can see, but wouldn't it be cool if she could shoot lasers out of her eyes like Superman?  I mean if they couldn't do destructive lasers they could have at least given her a laser pointer like Locutus of Borg.

They could have given her X-Ray vision or the ability to see infrared.  Maybe night vision or even just having her eyes glow at night.

Do you remember after Spiderman was bitten by the radioactive spider?  The next morning he woke up and noticed his vision had been corrected. (By the way, that's a way easier strategy than having your eye cut open.  I'll take radioactive spider over surgery any day.)  He tried putting his glasses on and noticed that now his glasses made his vision worse.  Robyn had a similar experience.  She put on her glasses and noticed that now that her vision is normal her glasses make her see funky.  So with Spiderman that was the extent of the improvement to his eyes, he didn't get laser eyes or X-Ray vision but at least he got other cool powers like spidey sense and the ability to fling webs.  Robyn got no additional powers.

There is one additional thing Robyn got.  Since they wanted her eyes to be protected, they gave her some super cool glasses to wear while she's sleeping so that nothing accidentally touches her eyes.

I'm pretty sure that looking that awesome is a super power.