As most of you know, Robyn and I have not yet replicated ourselves in the form of a small child. I feel that making people is a large responsibility. I felt that we should take baby steps. (This can be interpreted as small steps like a baby takes, or as steps towards a baby. Because of my kindness I will allow you to choose which way you take it.) My first idea was that we should get a puppy. If the dog lives, there's a good chance a human could survive with us. Robyn didn't like the puppy idea. She says they breathe funny. (I suppose because they pant. But I think there are plenty of things that breathe more funny than dogs. Fish, for example, or lobsters, or crocodiles, with their noses just barely sticking out of the water. What about mermaids, they don't have gills but still breathe underwater, what is that about?)
So we've come up with some excellent baby steps. First of all, we've planted a garden. We weed it, we dig about it, we dung it. What more could we have done for our garden? The garden is surviving quite well. We have such glorious things as cilantro and corn (pictured below) as well as squash, pumpkins, tomatoes, basil, watermelon and other glorious things.
After finding some success with our garden. We decided to expand our horizons. Since Robyn doesn't like mammals, we decided that insects were the way to go. These are our little guys.
When they grow up they will be painted lady butterflies. They've survived so far. If they survive to adulthood I think that will be pretty good evidence that a human could survive with us.
But the most important baby step is kind of a big deal. We've been trying to keep an actual human alive. Of course, we haven't fully adopted him, but we invite Jared William over for frequent dinner appointments. The picture below is of him when he was a child. It is designed to fool you into thinking that we are caring for a child rather than inviting an adult over for dinner. Please be fooled.
P.S. Isn't he precious?
I'm kind of excited about the butterflies. I might need to come over and have a look see.
ReplyDeleteSoo precious.
ReplyDeleteYou have thriving plants and caterpillars, which--to me--means you are SO ready for parenthood. No more excuses!
And if that's not enough, I think the fact that you've kept Jared alive this long is enough to show that you're ready...he's done some pretty crazy things in his days!
You are too funny for words! Thanks for the good laugh, and I'm sorry I think dogs breath funny.
ReplyDeleteThanks for helping me learn how to keep living things alive, especially Jared. He sure is precious, but hard to keep out of trouble. I just hope I get enough practice before the real test comes.
So I am a little confused and in the dark with this blog. You say that if the caterpillars live to adult hood that you could keep a human alive. So I am wondering if that means you are going to purposely kill them so they don't live to adult hood so you don't have to have kids, Or does that mean you are making an announcement that kids are soon to come?
ReplyDeleteReady, set, go!
ReplyDeletexoxoxo
your corn plants make our corn plants feel small and insignificant. Already, our children are competing with each other, and of course, mine are losing.
ReplyDeleteI have to say, as much as I always love your writing style, Jeff, the best part of THIS post is the picture of Jared. Wow. I say again...wow.
ReplyDeleteCameron, I said that if they live it would be pretty good evidence. That doesn't mean it is irrefutable evidence. So don't worry, no big announcements yet.
ReplyDeleteMelissa(glarcy) Sorry our little corn plants have been making yours feel bad. We try to tell our little ones to behave on the playground but you know how they can be. We'll have another talk with them.
I think my favorite part of this post is where you got that picture. Isn't that the one you got of me when you were doing your weekly google search of me? I was 18 when that picture was taken, I wasn't that much of a child.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I do appreciate that you have kept me alive this long, it definitely isn't an easy task. I think if the me and the corn can both survive then you are surely ready.
Jared, I know you weren't that much of a child. But you just look so small and precious. I was thinking you were 16 or 17 which I can count as a child but I guess if you were 18 you were legally an adult. Either way you were still precious. Yes, it is the one I found while googling you. I can't find it again, so I don't know if it's no longer on the internet or if I just don't google the right terms anymore.
ReplyDeleteOkay, let me squash that rumor right now. Caring for plants/animals does not equate to caring for a human. Little people NEVER let you forget that they need something. Every FIVE minutes. You needn't worry about your ability to care for a child. When it's your own flesh and blood (SO different from babysitting even the relatives) your perspective is forever changing and bit by bit you'll both become less selfish and more selfless. Become parents because it's the greatest ever.
ReplyDeleteCould this possibly mean that I will become a grandmother before I am too old to enjoy the little Jeff and Robyn's that will be running around? By the way, your vegetables are looking much better than mine, but my flowers are awesome!!
ReplyDelete