The Birthday Trilogy Part 3

Are you ready for the stunning conclusion to my birthday trilogy?

You're not?  Well, could you please get ready?  I'll wait.  One way you could help feel more prepared for this stunning conclusion would be to read part 1 and part 2.

The final chapter in the birthday trilogy took place on my actual date of birth.  That's right.  All of the goodness you're about to read about was on Tuesday, May 27th.  The day I became 33 years of age.

It was a great day.

I woke up, expecting to eat breakfast and ride my bike to work.  I wasn't really expecting anything special since all the celebrating had already happened the previous two days.

It turns out that my legs were a little sore from the hike the day before, so I cancelled the bike ride.  (Every once in a while the reality that I'm still not where I want to be is placed in front of me.  Despite all the progress I've made.)

That was a small disappointment but was quickly overshadowed by my first birthday surprise.  John and Carol (Robyn's parents) had sent me a birthday present, so Robyn let me open a present in bed.  (Apparently, it had arrived long in advance, but Robyn hid it so that I wouldn't get too excited and try to open it.)  It was Elder Bednar's new book which I've been super excited to read.

 But the birthday love, just kept coming.  Foursquare gave me birthday love.

 Scramble with friends gave me birthday love by allowing me to get my highest score ever.

 Google gave me birthday love, by changing the Google page.  (I like to believe that everyone's Google looked like this on my birthday, to celebrate the anniversary of my birth.)

That evening, after work, Robyn told me to meet her at our rental property in Orem for a birthday surprise.  If I'm being honest (which I always am) then I have to admit that I guessed what the surprise would be.  There's a restaurant in Orem called Los Hermanos.  It's one of the most delicious places on planet Earth.  We haven't been there in a super long time since it's not exactly a place that makes it easy to eat healthy.  But the good news is that on your birthday you can eat whatever you want and you won't gain weight.  Ask your doctor.  It's legit.

Robyn had even brought our Los Hermanos T-shirts so that we could get free drinks.

They should put Robyn in Los Hermanos commercials.  Also, they should have Los Hermanos commercials.

That evening when I got home, Robyn had another surprise for me.  Even though we had agreed there would be no presents, she got me a present.

There are 3 presents in the picture.  It turns out 2 of them were books that had happened to come on my birthday.  (People like to send me free books.)  Robyn wrote Happy Birthday on the other packages, to make it look more exciting.  But the big one was from Robyn.

Do you want to know what was inside the ginormous package?  Of course you do!  It contained a magical pillow.  This pillow has some sort of enchantment on it that makes it stay cool all the time.  It's like sleeping on a cool breeze.  It's kind of amazing.

How does it work you ask?  Well, I'm glad you asked!  It's MAGIC!

Of course, the day was filled with lots of love through text messages and through Facebook.  But the final crowning act of love on my birthday was when Graham (my brother-in-law) sent me this picture.

Can everyone on Earth please make this face for my birthday every year?

Don't you feel like that Graham face was the crowing achievement of my birthday?  That face is Frodo throwing the ring in Mount Doom.  (Only with way less death and destruction.)

The Birthday Trilogy Part 1

It turns out people love me.  I know, who would have thought?

You know how I know that people love me?  Well, there are lots of ways, but one of them is that I sat down to write about my birthday and realized that I received way too much love to write about it in one sitting.

This year, my birthday love came on 3 separate days.  Thus, it was a birthday trilogy.

I know what you're thinking, all the best stuff comes in trilogies.  There's Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Hunger Games, and my birthday.  It fits right in, doesn't it?

Part 1 of the birthday trilogy took place on Sunday.  I went to my parents' house to have a celebratory dinner.

Mom made all sorts of goodness.  There were zucchini noodles with chicken and alfredo sauce.  There was grilled asparagus.  Mom's famous rolls.

But, most importantly, there was eclair cake.

First, I need to tell you of my love for eclairs.  When Robyn and I got married, I pretty much let her plan everything she wanted.  But there was one point on which I was immovable: Eclairs.  We had to have eclairs at the reception, because they are the most delicious thing ever made.

So, knowing this great truth about eclairs, can you imaging the greatest thing ever?  Say it with me:  Eclair Cake!

Here it is, in all its glory.  My photography probably doesn't do it justice, but it was fantastic.

After dinner, my family gave me gifts.  I primarily received books.  (Which I love.) I now have a problem.  My to read shelf is overflowing and I've begun stacking on top.  (That's a glorious problem to have.)

My new acquisitions are stacked on top.  Except that I now realize that the most excellent title, "Freedom is Blogging in your Underwear" is not pictured because it fit snugly on the shelf lower down.  I just have lots of reading to do.

I did receive on item that was not a book.  My mom gave me a Chromecast.

What is a Chromecast, you ask?  Just a device that brings happiness and joy to all that enter its presence.  Also, it streams video from your computer to your TV.

Of course, one of the presents had a bow on it, so we naturally had to try it on.  Who do you think pulls it off better, me or Robyn?

That's only day 1 of my birthday trilogy!  Stay tuned for the rest of the story.

The Hardest Part About Christmas

I love Christmas.  I really do.  I love every little thing about it.  I love Christmas parties.  I love ordering presents for people on Amazon.  I love feeling like I'm opening presents when I open all the Amazon boxes, even though it's all stuff for other people.  I love spending time with family.  I love eating all the little treats, even though it makes my weight loss for the year very anticlimactic.

I love reading the Christmas story from the Bible.  I love looking at the snow on a white Christmas (even though this year I'll be in California, where there is no such thing).  I love opening presents Christmas morning.  I love the look on someone's face when they are surprised by the perfect gift.

In short, I just plain love Christmas.

But there is one aspect that I don't like.

In fact, you might say I more than dislike it.  I despise this one thing.

I hate wrapping presents.  There, I said it.

It's not something I've done a lot of in my life.  When I was much younger, I would hire my sister to do the job.  She did excellent work for somewhere around 25 cents per present.  Since then things have changed, she's become a phlebotomist (it means she sucks blood for a living, similar to a vampire except that "for a living" means "for money" in her case, and not "for nutritional content").  It turns out that phlebotomists are not willing to work for 25 cents per present.  Her rates went up, and priced me out of the market.

Amazon does gift wrapping, but it's $3.50 per present.  If I wanted to pay that, I'd hire a phlebotomist.

My wife is a saint, and she takes on the responsibility of doing all the wrapping of presents that we give to other people.  But who does the wrapping of presents that I give to my wife?

That falls to me.

It turns out wrapping presents is hard.

When Robyn wraps presents there's all sorts of cutesiness.

There are snazzy things like bows, and the tag is written in some sort of cute font that is not supported by my hand.

The corners are tight, and there are no unsightly bulges.

When I wrap presents, it's a whole different ball game.  Part of the problem is that making things pretty is not exactly my forte.  I understand the whole "conceal the gift" idea, but I feel that would be much better accomplished by just wrapping it in duct tape, don't you think?

I mean, people wrap gifts and the whole thing is held together with one tiny piece of tape.  Doesn't that just shout "INSECURE!"  to you?  When I wrap something, I want it to withstand the apocalypse.  But a securely wrapped present is not socially acceptable to place under the tree.

Aside from my yearning to use too much tape, I'm pretty sure I also use too much wrapping paper.  Or maybe not.  I don't even know.  All I know is that "unsightly bulges" are a way of life for me when wrapping gifts.

And when I write on the tag, not only am I using a way outdated font, but apparently I can't even remember whose name goes where.

It's clear that the hardest part about Christmas is wrapping presents.  And the hardest part about wrapping presents is knowing that I could be outdone by a toddler.

But maybe I could afford a toddler's rates.  Does anyone know a toddler who is looking for work?  Preferably one that doesn't plan to become a phlebotomist?