Saturday, February 5, 2011

My Lost Powers

A few days ago I experienced an important day in history.  Robyn has long been an enemy of my eyebrows.  She has long desired to trim them but recently was the day I finally allowed it.

You see, I had this one super awesome eyebrow hair that was super long.  It's been there for many moons, and I've always known about it.  But a few weeks ago my brother Zack pointed it out.  He said, "I just keep staring at your super long eyebrow hair.  It's kind of gross."

I think Robyn felt that my brother's comment gave her license to say something.  Ever since then she has threatened to pluck it while I sleep or do other wicked things to it.

It should be noted that I didn't look this guy:

And, as awesome as he is, I didn't even look like this guy.

I wish I had taken a close up picture so you could understand the awesomeness.  The awesomeness of the two guys above was dwarfed by my own.  You see, this one eyebrow hair had been with me as long as I'd been alive.  The rest of them have fallen out over the years and been replaced by other hairs, but not this one.  

Since this one hair had never been cut, I could sing to it and it would glow.  (It didn't have that power until I saw the movie Tangled, but that movie revealed to me the power of an uncut hair.)  Also, much like Samson, my uncut eyebrow hair granted me uncanny strength.  I was able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, eat large meals in a single bite and say long words with a single breath.

But, alas, ever since the cutting of my eyebrow hair I have felt tired.  My powers are lost.  I feel like the rest of the normal eyebrow trimming population.  I don't think I should have let her do it.  What do you think?


  1. I think you are going to have to let your nose hair or just your hair grow to a ridiculous length. Also I am really hoping that your smarts and you extreme funniness did not go with the eye brow hair. That would take away a lot of the way people appreciate you. Good luck and I hope that it grows back twice as long. Maybe even two will come in that long for cutting just one.

  2. I'm really sad you have to take breaths in the middle of long words now. That is the super power that will be missed the most.

  3. Well Jeff, Wade started out with one of those in each eyebrow. I guess you could say it was a matched set, and I hated looking at them. They looked like they were going to poke Wade in the eye! So after Wade got sick of me trying to pull his ear, nose and eyebrow hair out with tweezers, he finally bought a little trimmer specifically for those locations. So when I say they are getting a little long, he pulls out his trimmer and takes care of it. No pain involved! I would highly recommend one! I haven't noticed any lost any powers either.

  4. I just imagined you leaping over tall buildings and saying long words in a single breath, and it made me really happy.

    Sorry you lost your amazing powers, but I'll still be friends with you.

  5. I haven't seen you in a while, but I miss your eyebrows. You had such great strength. I can only hope that your wisdom isn't diminished, that would be tragic. Whatever you do don't let her cut your nose hair.

  6. I'm just saying I haven't noticed a change except that people stop staring at the long eyebrow. I think it was for the better.

  7. I'm too tired to think of anything witty... so, I just echo what Robyn said...

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