Scuba in the Classroom

Remember a while back when Robyn and I took that Discover Scuba class?  Remember how, at the end of that post, I said that Robyn has agreed to get Scuba certified with me?  Well, we finally signed up for our certification class.  This week we did all of the classroom work, and on Saturday we're gonna be in a swimming pool learning super sweet skills.

We booked the class about a month ago.  The instructor gave us a book to read before the class began.  Naturally, the night before our class we realized we hadn't read any of it.  It was just like high school all over again.  And, just like high school, I skimmed the book the night before.

We took the class with some friends.  Dave and Jen made sure to read every word of the book.  They are good studious students.  If you're looking for dive buddies, they are probably better options then us.

Our first day in class we went over the first 3 chapters in the book and took a quiz on each chapter.  After that we got to learn how to hook up the air tank, and the BCD (Buoyancy Control Device).  We tried on our BCDs as well.  Robyn looked especially snazzy in hers.

The second day of class we went over the last two chapters and we took the final exam.  All through high school, I was the guy who barely skimmed the book and aced all the tests.  I don't think I was ever nervous about a test in my life.

I was nervous about this test.

I realized as I was about to take it that this knowledge was actually important for things like staying alive under water.  As our instructor passed out the test I quietly wished that I had actually read the book instead of skimming it.

I took the test.  I got 92%.  That means I get to go on to the cool parts where we actually do stuff in water.

After I was done with my test, it was important to document what was happening around me.  Robyn had different strategies to deal with me documenting.

Her first strategy was crankiness.

Her next strategy was to ignore me.  But look how happy Jen is to be taking a test.

I told my Dad that I got 92%, he asked if that meant that 8% of the time I don't survive the dive.  Blast!  I really need to go back and read the book in its entirety.

I'm hoping I won't die 8% of the time, but I do have to warn you about one of the questions I got wrong.

One of the things we are required to learn is a form of sign language specific to Scuba Diving.  One of the signs looks exactly like, "Thank you" in ASL.  But, it doesn't mean "Thank you" it is a request to use your air.  It's probably an important sign to know.  Here is a scenario that I picture happening if you Scuba Dive with me.

We are diving along and you realize you have run out of air.  (You should have paid better attention to your SPG, but whatevs)  You approach me and ask to use my air.  I sign back, "You're Welcome."  You repeat the first sign.  I repeat, "You're welcome."  After a few minutes of this you drown.

So, if you ever go diving with me, just know that I missed that question on the quiz.  Also, know that all Scuba divers are required to have a secondary source of air.  Don't ask me for mine.  Just grab it.  Then I'll say, "You're welcome."

365 Days of Me

Lately I've become passionate about creating a record of my life.  This record keeping has taken on many forms.  One is that I have been posting on this blog more frequently.  (I set a goal to post at least twice a week this year, and so far I have kept that goal.)  I have also been writing frequently in my journal.

Is this because I have a terrible memory and tend to forget experiences I've had?  I don't want to admit it, but yes.  So, I'm creating documentation of my own life, for my own consumption.  If others enjoy it along the way, that's a bonus.

I recently discovered a trend among the bloggernacle.  Many individuals have embarked on what they call the 365 day photo project.  The premise of this project is simple, you post a picture every day for 365 consecutive days.  Many of them have themes, or specific goals.  Others just seek to document daily experiences.

I decided that I wanted to participate in this movement.  I figured it would be a good addition to my other record keeping efforts.  I began my own 365 day photo project about a week ago.  I can't guarantee that I will post on it forever, but I've set a goal to post a picture every day for the next year.

One fun side affect that I've noticed already is that when I know that I'll be posting a picture at the end of the day, it reminds me to take pictures of things throughout the day.  So, even though I only post one picture a day, the other pictures also become an additional record.  And, the process of picking the photo that best represents the day is the majority of the fun.

Now, don't worry.  I will still faithfully post all of the greatest hits of my life on this blog.

But, if you're interested, you can come check out Jeff's Daily Photo.  Like I said, it's primarily for my own consumption, but you are all welcome to come along.

According to my Analytics, there are 4 of you who have already discovered my daily photo.  The rest of you should come join those 4 wise individuals.  Who wouldn't want to enjoy 365 days of me?

Big Springs

On Saturday Robyn and I took a walk into some happy memories and some beautiful nature.

Just over five years ago, we were engaged in a meadow about a half mile above Big Springs Park in Provo canyon.  It had been a few years since we had been there so we decided to hike up to our meadow and then head up even higher.

I remembered it being a very difficult hike to get to our meadow.  This time around we walked right past it and I asked Robyn if we had taken a wrong turn because the trail didn't look familiar.  She explained that was because we had already hiked further than we had ever been.  I was confused because we hadn't got to the hard part yet.  Apparently losing 60 pounds and walking every day makes you unable to detect the hard part.

Here are a few fun pictures from our adventure while hiking Big Springs.

Robyn looks phenomenally cute in the wilderness

My hair is in that awkward stage where it's too short to comb but too long to not comb.  I call this one, "Robyn takes a selfie with a crazy clown."

Entering the meadow where we were engaged.

Robyn standing in the spot where we were engaged.  (Or, at least withing a few feet of it.  It's hard to tell among the grass.)

It's important to kiss in the meadow where we were engaged.

The river was pretty, Robyn was pretty.  I call this one, "overload of pretty."

I love the fall colors, and the trail among the falling leaves.

Sometimes Robyn rocks out in the wilderness and love spews forth from her hands.

She's getting so skinny!  Little known fact:  I have lost more pounds than Robyn, but she has lost a larger percentage of her body weight.

As you can see, it was a super fantabulous hike.  I have to do lots more hiking if I'm going to be ready to climb to the top of Timp next year.

How To Eat a Brownie Without Eating a Brownie

The following is not good advice.  My wife claims that this kind of thinking is how I originally got to be 300 pounds.  I think this kind of thinking leads you down the path that rocks.

Have you ever had that experience where your wife makes a bunch of delicious unhealthy food for a friend or family member?  You know that feeling where you really need to eat some?

I had that feeling.  Robyn had made some brownies.  She put most of them on a plate to be taken and consumed by people that were not me.  Probably these people also hadn't set a goal to lose one third of their body weight.  Ah well, touché.

After she was done plating the brownies, there was a pan that looked like this:

It should be noted, there are 4 brownies in that pan.  

When I was done with it, it looked like this:

As you can see, there are still 4 brownies in the pan.

 
If there were 4 brownies when I started, and 4 when I was done, that means I ate zero brownies, amIright?

If I ate zero brownies, at approximately 200 calories per brownie, I ate zero calories.

Voila!  That's how you eat a brownie without eating a brownie.  You can thank me later.

When I explained this logic to Robyn, she wasn't impressed.  She told me that's how I got to be 300 pounds.  She was wrong, the old me would have made the pan look like this:

Or, more accurately, the old me would have demanded that she make a second pan just for me.  I'm just sayin'.

Get The Bugs!

The other night I was sleeping.  That shouldn't surprise you.  That's what I do at night.  I kind of like it.

Sometimes Robyn doesn't want me to sleep.  At least that's what I have to conclude.

Anyway, like I said, I was sleeping.  It was awesome.  Then the awesomeness stopped when I was woken abruptly.

Robyn (with urgency and conviction): "Jeff!  JEFF!  JEFF!"

I was tired and groggy.  Not sure what was going on.

Me:  "What do you need?"

Robyn:  "Get the bugs!  Get them!"

You're reading this right now, thinking, "Oh, she's talking in her sleep again."  You have the advantage of reading this from a perspective where you've been awake for more than 2 seconds and your brain is fully functional.  I, on the other hand, looked around in the darkness desperately trying to comprehend what was going on.

Me:  "What bugs?"

Robyn:  "I don't know.  I'm trying to sleep."

Crisis averted, I guess? That must have been one awesome dream.

On Drugs

I'm totally on drugs.  But I have a goal to be drug free, just like I learned in elementary school.

It all started about 6 months ago.  I hate going to the pharmacy. As such, I asked my doctor if there were a way for me to get my diabetes medication in large quantities, so that I could pick it up less often. My doctor, being the kind soul that he is, made sure to oblige. He gave me a prescription for a 3 month supply, which is 2 ginormous bottles of Metformin.

Then, a few months later, after I lost a bajillion pounds (bajillion is totally a number, in this case bajillion means 50)  and significantly lowered my blood sugar, he told me to cut the amount of medication I'm taking in half.

I continued on, taking my lower dosage, until the bottle I was using ran out.  I naturally called the pharmacy to refill my prescription and came home with 2 more ginormous bottles.

That's when Robyn informed me I still had a ginormous bottle that I hadn't used yet.

So my current "ginormous bottle of Metformin" count is up to 3.

I'm not sure why the newer bottles are taller, but they're all ginormous.

Before you decide that you should rush over to my house and steal my large drug stockpile, there are some things you should know.

1.  Stealing from me is not awesome.  We already went over that.
2.  Metformin isn't the type of drug you get high on.  You wouldn't enjoy it.  All it does is help lower your blood sugar.  I suppose if you took enough you might get some really cool shakes and perhaps a coma, but that's the most fun you'll be able to have.

I looked at all those pills and thought about how my kidney would probably appreciate it if I wasn't on drugs.  So I set a goal.

My goal is to never fill that prescription again.   Those 3 bottles should last me a good 9 months at my current dosage.  By then I should be under 200 pounds.  Hopefully, at that point I won't need diabetes medication.

Don't worry, I'll do what my doctor says.  If he says I still need it, I'll keep taking it.

But, I just want to be drug free.   I want to say no to drugs.  It's what the D.A.R.E. officer that visited my fifth grade class would have wanted.