The Incredible Vanishing Trash Can

They say that one man's trash is another man's treasure.  Well, apparently my trash is solid gold.

About 2 years ago, I wrote about how our neighbor was stealing our trash can. We moved away from those neighbors. Not because they were weird trash thieves, but we certainly didn't miss having our trash can stolen. Of course, when we first moved to our current house, the city wouldn't pick up our trash for a month. I can only assume that they didn't want to load up what they presumed to be solid gold in the dump.

Well, it took us a while to convince the city that we really did want our trash picked up.  The city does now believe that our trash is actual trash.  However, apparently our various neighbors still see incredible value in our garbage cans.  Recently, our trash can completely vanished.  It had been a particularly windy day and we live on a large hill, so we thought maybe it blew down the hill.

I walked all the way down the hill, there were no random trash cans.  I even walked down a few side streets to see if it somehow wandered in a new direction.  There was nothing.  Someone, I'm sure was sitting in their backyard, giddy with the pure joy of having acquired all of our trash, and a can to boot.   It's possible that it originally blew away, but someone clearly took it off the street.

I called the city, they thought I was crazy.  But they don't understand how difficult it is for me to keep my trash can.  I eventually convinced them to give me a new one.

So, let me just put this out there.  We do not put solid gold in our trash can.  Sometimes we use 100 dollar bills as toilet paper, (who doesn't?) but we don't put toilet paper in the trash can.  That would just be gross.

So, please, just let us keep it.  You're free to steal the trash out of it.  Just let us keep the can.  Thanks.  It is much appreciated.