The Yuzh: The Story of my Ascension to Greatness in Consumerism

Have you ever watched a show on TV and it shows one of the main characters at a restaurant? Have you noticed how they never give a real order? They always order "The usual." Have you thought about what this means about that person? They are either so important that their food preferences are well known by the entire city/state/country/world so that they can just order "the usual" wherever they go and plan on that person knowing what they're talking about, or they frequent one place so often that everyone that works there knows what they want. I have always desired to be one of those people. They seem so important, so powerful. Are there real people like that in the world?

I've tried so hard to achieve this great pinnacle in life. At Los Hermanos I always order the combo burrito. Yet, I never get the same server twice. If I ordered the yuzh, (The yuzh is the cooler and shorter way to say, "the usual." It is spelled that way because if I wrote "the us" you wouldn't pronounce it properly. I feel that 'yuzh', portrays the first sounds of 'usual' properly.) I would just get a funny look.

I want you to know, however, that it can happen to little people like you and me. I've written before about how my coworkers and I make a weekly trip to Costco for lunch. We eat all the free samples, chat with the free sample ladies and then buy lunch in the food court.

There is a hero in the food court at Costco. His name happens to be Jeff. He doesn't know my name, but he knows my order. For a while, he was trying to remember and he struggled. A couple times he said, "A slice of pepperoni, a slice of supreme and a polish dog." He was embarrassed when I told him I prefer hot dogs. But now, I don't even have to correct him. I can just say, "The yuzh."

As a consumer, I feel I've reached my peak. If only there were heroes like Jeff at every establishment. I could walk into any restaurant and order "the yuzh." O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! I would chortle in my joy!

Of course, there would be less variety. Jeff pointed out to me last time I was there, "You know, we do sell other stuff." He's right, but other stuff isn't "The Yuzh."