This is Halloween

This Halloween Robyn and I had some friends over and we carved pumpkins that we had grown in our garden. Here is a picture of us in our costumes with our precious little one. We have proven yet again that we can keep other life forms alive.

As I was carving, I was just going to make a mouth. I was thinking it could be the Mouth of Sauron.

But I wasn't sure if people would get it. So I added some angry eyes, just in case.

Of course, this year I dressed as Antoine Dodson for my costume. I tried to convince Robyn that we should both be the same thing but she wasn't a fan of the idea.  If you don't know who he is, you need to watch this and then this.

Once you have watched those two videos you can watch my video below. This was the crowning achievement of this year's Halloween.

The Infamous Primary Program

This past Sunday we had our Primary Program. (In my church, once a year we have the children, ages 3-11 put on a program for the whole congregation.  It consists of them singing songs and giving very short speaking parts, usually 1-2 lines.)  Robyn and I are in charge of the Sunbeams (the 3 and 4 year olds).  This meant that we got to be involved in all the practicing and we got to sit up on the stand during the actual program and attempt to get the kids to do what they're supposed to.

I have to admit, my attitude wasn't quite where it should have been.  I was not excited about the various practices we went through.  Trying to get 3 years olds to sit quietly for 2 hours while other kids practice speaking parts or various songs is not the funnest activity in the world.  And, of course, they're supposed to stand for each song which means that I am trying to whisper, "Stand up.  It's time to stand up.  Let's all stand up."  By the time they stand up the song is usually over and I'm whispering, "Sit down. Sit down.  Sit on your chair.  Sit. Sit. Sit."

The practice we did on Saturday was particularly rough.  We had gathered at the church on Saturday morning, and we were doing a run through of the whole program.  One of the kids turned to me and said in the whiniest voice he could muster, "This is taking foooooreeeeevvveeer."  What could I say?  I wanted to be home playing on a Saturday just as much as he did.  I thought if I gave him some numerical data that he could understand it would help him put in perspective how much longer we had.  So I said, "There are just 2 more songs."  After we sang another song he turned to me and said, "After one more song I can go home?"  I wasn't sure exactly what the plan was but I said, "Ya, I'm pretty sure."

Well,  I shouldn't have been so sure.  After we finished going through the whole program, the Primary President stood up and said, "You kids did such a good job on our first run through.  Let's run through the whole thing one more time."  Now, at this point I wanted to cry.  I couldn't imagine the anguish our little 3 and 4 year olds were feeling.  I knew that the second run through would do nothing for our sunbeams.  At this point the goal of the second run through was to get through it alive.  I turned to this particular boy and said, "I'm so sorry.  I was wrong.  Now there are 9 more songs."

The day of the actual program came.  During the program there was plenty of "Time to stand up." and "Sit down. Sit. Sit. Sit."  But despite all that, I think I finally got it.  I finally understood what it was all about.  I looked out at the audience and saw tears on the faces of many of the parents of our little children.  The children were almost yelling as they sang, "Follow the Prophet, don't go astray."  And I really felt that they believed it when they sang, "I know that my Savior loves me."  I finally understood why we worked so hard.

These children really do know their Savior.  They know the simple truths of the gospel, which are that Jesus Christ lives and that he loves each one of us.  They may not know the deeper doctrines.  They can't quote scripture and they don't know the difference between a Jew and a Samaritan but they know the important things, they know that they are children of God.

I said a little prayer to repent for my bad attitude.  The one tear came to my right eye as I pondered the gospel truths that we were learning from these little ones.  I understood at that moment why our Savior said that we should become as little children.

Truly Awesome: Bacon

Bacon, is there anything it can't do?

Yesterday Robyn was getting ready to go shopping.  She asked if there was anything she needed to buy that wasn't on her list.

Me: "Bacon"

Robyn: "We have bacon in the fridge."

Me: "We probably need more bacon."

Robyn: "We have more bacon in the freezer."

Me: "We probably need even more bacon."

Robyn: "We can't just spend all our money on bacon."

Me: "There are things in this world more important than money. Bacon is one of those things."

Naturally, Robyn just rolled her eyes.  But I was overwhelmed by my own wisdom and naturally went straight to twitter and facebook to share what I had just said.

In light of this new found wisdom, I have decided to write my second poem ever.  This time I wrote about bacon.

Ode To Bacon

Bacon, Dear Bacon
On a BLT I've found you are fun
Whether it be on a slice of bread or a bun.
I put bits of you in salad to make it great
Or I put you next to the eggs on my plate

Bacon, Dear Bacon
When you wrap around beef, it brings me joy.
Your salty taste makes me a happy boy.
You are delicious with any meal it is true.
If I had to live without you I'd be blue.

Dear, Dear Bacon.
---------------------------------------
 
How do you feel about bacon?  I feel it's so amazing I might even try Coke that was flavored like bacon.  (And I don't like Coke)

Okay, I might be willing to admit that that sounds disgusting.  But don't hold that against bacon.

Second Anniversary

Robyn planned our anniversary this year.  It was alot of fun.  She did an excellent job of giving us a weekend away.  Our get-away consisted of the following things.

Armstrong Mansion
We stayed in the Armstrong Mansion which was a really neat mansion that was built in 1893.  Francis Armstrong built it as a gift to his wife, Isabel.  It has since been made up into an inn much like the Anniversary Inn.  It was a really neat place and the breakfast was excellent as well.

Scary Pigeon
The temperature was a little warm in our room. I suggested we open the window to solve some of the problem with the hot temperature.  Robyn agreed that would be a good idea until she saw the pigeon.  It had built a nest right outside the window.  She was concerned that it would come inside and kill us in our sleep if we opened the window.  (That may not have been her exact concern, but it was something about it getting inside.)  After Robyn was asleep I decided I couldn't bear it anymore and opened the window.  What she didn't know didn't hurt her.  (Well, except for the part where the pigeon got really loud around 6 AM and woke us both up.  That part might have hurt her a little.)

Roller Coaster Bed
The bed in the Armstrong Mansion was soft and comfortable but it had one flaw.  You know those commercials where they show the mattress and it has a glass of wine on the bed and they drop a bowling ball on the other side of the bed to show how the glass doesn't even move?  Most beds are designed to absorb the motion, this bed somehow amplified it.  If you dropped a bowling ball on this bed it probably would have made the wine glass explode.  I felt bad for Robyn because I kept tossing and turning and by the time my tossing and turning motions were amplified on her end it probably felt like she was riding a bull.  But she held on, she didn't get bucked off once.

Salt Lake Temple
Neither of us had ever been inside the Salt Lake Temple.  We decided it would be fun to go do a session.  I was astounded at how ornate that temple is.  All temples are beautiful but the Salt Lake temple is definitely special.  Afterward we ate at the garden restaurant.  Our table overlooked the temple and we had a beautiful view.

Singles Ward - Marriage Talk
We visited Jared William's and Megan and Graham's ward up in Salt Lake.  They are in a singles ward.  When we sat down I turned to Jared and said, "I'm so excited to hear a talk about marriage."  I was half joking, I knew they talked about marriage alot but not every week. Sure enough, Sacrament meeting was all about marriage.  I'm so glad I'm not in a singles ward anymore.

Singles Ward - Robyn without a ring
Robyn left her ring in the hotel room after we checked out and didn't realize it until we were at church.  She had set it down to put lotion on her hands.  We called the hotel and they found it for us so it was no problem.  But that didn't stop me from teasing Robyn about not wearing a wedding ring to the singles ward so that she could hit on single guys.

In addition to those little anecdotes, the best thing about this weekend was getting away from our normal lives and getting a chance to reconnect with each other.  We've had an amazing two years and I look forward to many, many more.

Which is scarier?

I finished another zombie book the other day. That night I had several strange dreams about battling zombies. Each time I woke up and just rolled over and fell back asleep. After several of those dreams I had a real nightmare. I dreamt that I was back in school. I couldn't remember when assignments were due, I couldn't find my classes and I woke up in a cold sweat with my heart racing.

To all of my friends that are still in school, you face a fate worse than a zombie apocalypse on a daily basis. Now that is courage.

My Grown Up Halloween List

Last Christmas I wrote about My Grown Up Christmas List. I mentioned how excited I was that my brother Zack had gotten engaged. I also said, "There are a few more couples on my grownup Christmas List. They know who they are. But their relationships are not quite to this point yet so I am transferring them to my grownup birthday list." Well, my birthday came and went, without anyone thinking that they should get engaged as a celebration of the anniversary of my birth.

Megan (Robyn's sister) and Graham had to be transferred to my Grown Up Halloween List.  There are only two items on that list.

1. A DVD of Disney's Halloween Treat (a classic from my childhood)
2. Megan and Graham would get engaged.

I have excellent news for all of you.
1. Robyn has authorized the purchase of Disney's Halloween Treat and even said she would watch it with me on Halloween.
2. Megan and Graham finally got engaged!

They tried to throw me off the scent a few times, by doing things such as breaking up.  That made Robyn very sad, but it didn't phase me.  I knew it would all work out in the end.  This kind of preciousness doesn't happen everyday.

Of course, they haven't achieved perfection yet.  They still have a few things to work on, like learning how to kiss.

But if you really want to see preciousness check out the soon to be brothers.

Clearly we belong in the same family.  I can't think of anything more awesome.  Except maybe a bowl of popcorn as I sit down to watch Disney's Halloween Treat.

A More Correct Way

A while back I wrote about my obsessive compulsive disorders.  In a recent conversation with a coworker, I discovered there is something else that I am obsessive compulsive about that I failed to mention in my previous post.  You see, there is a very specific way that is the only correct way to eat Frosted Mini Wheats.  I only bring this up because it is so important.  There may be people out there who are doing it incorrectly.  I consider this blog post to be somewhat of a public service announcement.

First, it's important to note that although Frosted Mini Wheats are delicious, Frosted Mini Spooners from Malt-O-Meal are actually more delicious.

Second, it's important to put in enough milk to submerge the bottom mini spooners but not fill the whole bowl.  Too much milk will cause some of the little guys to get soggy.  Not enough will not allow them to get properly soft.

The next step is the most important.  This is where my coworker (Let's call him Ben, since that's his name) disagreed with me.  It's very important that you eat the spooners that are submerged in the milk first.  (otherwise they could go soggy)  As you select each one, you must turn it so that the frosted side is down before you scoop it up in your spoon.  This has a dual purpose.  First, it makes sure that the frosting gets submerged fully in the milk, so that you can achieve desired softness.  Second, when you place it in your mouth the softened frosting is laying directly on your tongue.  This maximizes the joy that you will feel. Of course, other spooners will then fall in the milk to replace the ones you eat.  This is the desired result.

Ben disagreed.  He felt that the frosting side should always be up.  He is a believer in a crunchier frosting.  Ben's usually a pretty smart guy.  I figured if he had gone astray on this issue, there might be others out there with this same problem.  That's why I share this wisdom with you.

The final step is that you may need to pour more milk in, since you didn't fill the bowl fully.  Don't be concerned by this.  You'll generally need to pour one more time.  It may take some time to learn how to do your second pouring such that it lasts all the way to the end but doesn't leave any leftover.

In order to facilitate the world eating Mini Wheats/Spooners properly, my brilliant mind created a fabulous idea.  (Ben may want to interject that this brilliant invention was his idea, but I think he would realize that it was his exposure to my brilliant mind that allowed him to come up with the idea.)  What if there was a contraption that you could put milk and Mini Spooners into and it would serve up each one properly softened by milk, but it could store them seperate so as to never allow sogginess.

Whoever among you wishes to implement this idea, I will accept your donation of one million dollars even though the idea is worth much more.