Awkward and Old

I'm awkward and old.  That's nothing new to you.  But, I'll get to that in a minute.  First, a story.

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.  Wait, strike that.  It was in this galaxy, in the state of Wyoming.  But it was a long time ago, just under 13 years ago, in early 2001.  (Sorry, I had to do the galaxy far away thing.  Star Wars is playing on the TV right now.)

I was serving as a missionary for my church.  We were visiting a young family.  We were having some sort of gospel discussion.  I don't really remember the details of the discussion.  What I do remember is that this gospel discussion had way more nudity than most discussions on my mission.  As we were talking, the wife inexplicably lifted up her shirt and took off her bra.

I was really confused by this behavior.  You always hear stories from others about the strange things missionaries experience in other cultures.  But these stories usually come from people who went to places like Africa or South America.  I was in Wyoming.  As in, a state that borders my home state.

Nevertheless, there she was, removing her bra.  She was still wearing a shirt.  But since she had lifted the shirt above the bra area, the only function that shirt was serving was to cover her shoulders.  I don't think that shoulders are the primary body part that shirts are supposed to cover, particularly for women.

I looked at my companion.  He looked at me.

We had one of those conversations you have with your eyes.

Me:  I don't understand what's happening right now.

Companion:  My understanding is that she is removing her clothing.

Me:  I don't get it.

Companion:  She's doing what the kids call "letting it all hang out."

Me:  I'm confused.

Companion:  It's quite simple.  We're visiting with this nice couple, and the wife is topless.

Me:  WHAT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?!??!

This exchange continued for several seconds in much the same manner.  My companion was not able to help me better understand the situation, at least not through eye language.  I'm sure the husband caught the whole eye conversation because our eyes were definitely not whispering.  The wife, however, clearly did not catch any of it.  She was too busy removing her clothing.

Actual photo from that day
Note: This is before feet were invented

Once she made sure that everyone had seen what there was to see, the woman picked up her baby and began breast feeding.

The eye conversation continued.

Companion:  I knew that's what was happening the whole time.

Me:  I now understand what was happening.  However, I think she could have provided nutrition for her baby with a little less nudity.

So, that's my story.  But why do I share it now, nearly 13 years later?  And what does it have to do with me being old and awkward?

Well, today we met our new Sunday School class.  They're a bunch of cute kids.  But when I met them today, I was pondering how old they are.  They are all 12 turning 13 this year.  That means they were all born in 2001.

When I thought about that, I came to a terrible realization.  These kids are all the same age as the baby that was breast feeding in my story.  In fact, many of them are younger than that baby.

And that's when I felt old.  The baby in that story has remained a baby in my memory for nearly 13 years.  But then these preteens were sitting in front me and I was made very aware of the passage of time.  Then I was pondering my oldness, and this story couldn't leave my mind.  And then I felt really awkward, thinking about this story while I was in front of all our little precious 12 year olds.

And so you see, I'm awkward and old.

Mission Presidents Are Awesome

On Saturday night I had the opportunity to hang out with my Mission President.  (Ten years ago, I served as a missionary for my church in North and South Dakota.  A Mission President is the individual assigned by the church to oversee, inspire, motivate, teach, train, preside over, love and serve the missionaries.)

There are few people in the world that have had as profound of an effect on my life as President Mecham.  He helped teach me and mold who I was during a very important and influential period of my life.  It's been several years since I've had a chance to talk with him.  It was great to see him again and remember what a true inspiration he has been.

I have developed so much respect for this man, and I have always thought he was someone I want to be like.  I thought I would talk about just a few of the attributes I would like to emulate.

He is kind
As a new missionary, I flew into the Rapid City, South Dakota airport and was picked up by President and Sister Mecham.  I remember being terrified because I didn't know what being a missionary was going to be like.  We spent our first night at their home, before being assigned to our first mission areas.  We ordered pizza and just got to know each other.  I remember that he really made me feel at ease.  He made me feel like I had a true friend who was in my corner.

He also made me feel really short.

He takes the time to teach
I remember one time I was really struggling with keeping the missionary schedule.  I worked hard all day and was just exhausted.  I couldn't get myself out of bed at 6:30 in the morning.  He taught me an important lesson, and he did it in a way that wasn't condescending or rebuking.  He simply said, "Let the spirit command the flesh."  He taught me how to overcome that weakness of mine.  And he did it in a way that made me feel loved.

He is in tune with the will of the Lord
As a missionary, I had multiple experiences where I knew I was exactly where the Lord wanted me to be.  One of the duties of the Mission President is to assign a missionary to his area of service.  There were times where I got a call that said that I would be moving 500 miles away tomorrow.  Those times frustrated me until I got to the new area and met the person that only I could touch, for one reason or another.  I was so glad that President Mecham listened to the Lord, and not my whining.

He is fun
One time, my companion and I were dropping off another missionary at the airport in Fargo, ND.  We saw these awesome viking helmets and knew in our hearts that we needed them.

We make this airport gift shop look good

We took them home and decided they were our "zone leader authority hats".  Naturally, all those in our zone understood and recognized the power they gave us.  One time at Zone Conference, we smuggled in our authority hats.  We pulled our Mission President into a side room and showed them to him.  We asked him to wear one for us.  Naturally, he tried it on.  He could have told us that missionaries shouldn't be so silly.  But he humored us and had fun with it.

If he'd have seen this picture, he may have told us not to be so silly.

He builds people up
As a missionary, every time I saw him, he made me feel like I was awesome.  Even now, I get excited to see him, partly because I know I'm going to feel like a hero after talking to him for a few minutes.

There's lots more I could say.  He really is someone I'd like to be like.  But, at least there's one attribute that he has that I have also mastered.  He looks good next to his awesome wife.  I've got that one dominated.