Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Truly Awesome: Facebook Stalking

I'd like to take you back to the dark ages with me.  Come back with me to a time before Mark Zuckerberg changed your life.

If you can remember back to this ancient time, (around 2004) think back to what happened when a friend of yours went on a date, or met someone new.  They would have to do such ridiculous things as describe this person to you, or maybe if things were really serious, they might have a picture that they could show you.

Those days are no more.  Now what happens when a friend of yours goes on a date.  They say something like, "they're my friend on facebook, you can look them up."  You can then peruse pictures of this person, see what their interests are and generally stalk them, all without them ever knowing about it.  (Come on, you know you've done it.  Don't even try to deny it.)

This technological development is a source of great joy to me.  Let it be known that if you have ever dated anyone close to me, I have stalked you.  I'm not ashamed to admit it.  Let's be honest, I have not utilized this ability nearly as much as the mom of any single person. 

This week someone I know (who shall remain nameless, to protect stalker confidentiality) went on a date with a guy who she said reminded her of me.  Of course, I instantly liked him because he's similar to me.  But once the stalking commenced and I discovered a picture of him dressed like a zombie, my heart was overwhelmed with joy.

If you aren't facebook stalking, you should start.  (Or just start admitting that you're doing it.)

10 comments:

  1. Love it, love it, love it. I fully support facebook stalking. Thanks Mark.

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  2. Thanks for taking me back. It is amazing to see how far we have progressed in the centuries, I mean 6 years since such a discovery was made.

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  3. I'm glad you are only a Facebook stalker, because well, that would just be awkward if you were a real stalker.

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  4. first step: admitting the problem...

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  5. love this post. your honesty is inspiring. :) and hilarious.

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  6. Hahaha. I love Facebook stalking. "By the way," I looked up the person you told me about and I'm not sure if I found the right one. They might just be an innocent person, but I definitely stalked them though!

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  7. This should be added to the Book of Love under the chapter "Stalking isn't as creepy as it used to be"..an addendum to Chapter 1: "Stop stalking me, you hoser!"

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  8. Haha, Jeff you make my days happy! You are hilarious!

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  9. Maybe I should do a little more facebook stalking.

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